Pondering

I love trying to figure somebody out, it is a passion of mine. I talk a lot so other people will feel at ease and talk to me too. I listen to everything I am told and try to understand what makes someone who they are. Basically people just want to be loved and acknowledged. I know that I probably lost my opportunity with who I really wanted because I wasn't seeing them in the right light. Now that I do, it makes me wish that I would be in tune so that I didn't miss out on great opportunities.

Opening yourself up for love is one of the hardest things to do, it is always so scary. It means admitting your feelings when you are not sure how the other person feels. It is lonely before you open up then scary as hell waiting to hear the same words returned and then not getting it. It makes it so hard to want to build yourself up again to try again to probably only get the same response.

Last night I had an epiphany, I realized the last two weeks of my bad back and cold and rejection all came because I have lost focus and I became negative. Something I had worked so hard not to be but I now know that all this stuff that is pulling me down is what I have attracted into my life. All by being negative. It shocked me how powerful the 'Secret' is;)

So this week has started out like my weekend, I am thinking and pondering where I am and how I can change to get to where I want to be.  I want something that seems out of reach but this day and going forward I am going to be positive that I am going to have it, no matter what:)  I am going to prove worthy of what I want and once I have it, then I can make the goal to keep it by always being grateful, loving, kind, caring and sensitive. Not that bad things don't creep in but I am not allowing that to take over, I will know and remember how lucky I am to have my hearts desire:)

One thing at a time, working on making my life exactly what I want it to be and attracting the people that I want into my life. <3