Waiting on Pins and Needles

I've had a pretty good week so far, just when I am beginning to think maybe somethings are not going to happen, things change on a dime.  Now I just have to wait and be patient, instead I am on pins and needles.  I am so terrible about waiting for what I want but I am trying to change that.

My mind has been on over load for the past couple of days, it's made it hard to focus. I have been thinking a lot about how I have come to where I am in my life. What a journey I have had, being in my forties have been enlightening. All the things I believed in so strongly when I was younger have been challenged in the past couple of years. It is good to rethink your ideas sometimes though, we never want to be rigid.

The thing I want so much to work on is my self esteem. I don't have an issue with meeting new people and I can carry on a conversation easily with just about anyone.  I just want to believe I am good enough and deserve to be happy with someone. A big part of me has a difficult time with this, especially when every time I think it will work out, it hasn't.

What the future holds, none of us really know but I am looking forward to it. Change can be good even when it is scary, the bigger the change the better the reward. So I am just waiting as patiently as I can for the next change in my life.