Feeling Content

I have always wanted to just feel content, I do now.  Part of my desire was to feel content with someone, it seemed to elude me so much in my life. In this past year though, I realized that I would never feel content with anyone if I didn't feel it within myself.  Much the same way that people state that no one will ever love you if you never love yourself.

Why I wanted contentment though was mostly because I have had so much drama and craziness in my life, from having to live and grow up with the step mother from hell, to being a single mom at 18 and living on assistance, to marrying Andrey and going through untold abuse.  All I ever wanted was calmness and peace in my life.

I found that finally and I found it in me to begin with, now I have it with someone.  I feel so relaxed, I am not constantly worried that I will do or say the wrong thing.  It's such an amazing feeling, it's all I ever want to feel.  People are brought into our lives for a reason, it's all in deciding what we learn from these people to make knowing them great.

I have learned that there are people who are calm, easy going, sweet... the list could go on forever, I now know that I will never want any less than this in the future, all because I decided to listen to a prompt and do what I know needed to be done.  I also am well aware that things in life don't always last forever but when you learn something about yourself that changes you, it makes it completely worthwhile.

I love feeling content, it makes me extremely happy!!  What I have been chasing all my life, was always there but I never believed it.  Now I do and I know that it can always be there, I am content with me.