Attitude Change

The last month and a half has been difficult, I've come to realize that a lot of it has to do with my attitude.  I seriously needed to turn it around, I'm not that negative usually.  I have just had some very huge and I mean huge changes in my life, which is not all that easy to handle.

All the changes are actually good in the long run but so hard to handle short term. Especially  when  I made so many changes at once. So, the great thing is that I asked a few friends to fast with me to help me over the difficult times, of course that worked but I still had to feel my emotions.

I'm really grateful for family and friends who have been there for me.  I have been extremely blessed with two wonderful and amazing daughters, fantastic sisters, incredible friends and one soul mate who makes me smile and laugh endlessly.  It has been rough not being able to talk to him when I need to but I know that regardless, I am very important to him and our time will come after this course to finally talk.

I know I am going to have rough days where I am not sure I can deal with my life, where I am melancholy, sad and out of sorts.  I just have to remember what David has worked so hard to make me believe, I am kind, loving, thoughtful and honest, I only deserve the best.  I honestly don't think two people could be so different from each other than David and Andrey... Andrey felt the need to tear me down so he could  feel better and David builds me up to make me feel better.

I have to work on my attitude change so that I don't freak out when life does not turn out exactly as I want it to.... maybe I don't always know what's best for me, I have to trust that everything will work out the way it is supposed to, I have to have faith. I guess it's hard not to be in control and to just trust, I'm working on that daily.