The 30 Day Challenge

So, I am about to embark on a 30 day challenge... I have to say when I first heard of some of the items I had to give up or change,  I was pretty comfortable and then the next thing said was that I had to give up social media.  I was shocked and uncomfortable, sure sign I would have to take on the challenge and give it up for the 30 days.

My heart started beating quickly and my breathing was uneven... then the next item came... I would not be able to flirt for 30 day.  I was what???  I do this without thinking, it is a habit that is second nature.  So... I thought okay, I will take on that challenge and work very hard to be conscious of this and not do it anymore.

I became even more uncomfortable when the next challenge came, I would have to give up contact with any of my exes, the first thought that came to me was NOOOO,  I cannot do this, my best and closest friend David who keeps me centered is one of my exes.  He is the one who has turned me around and helped me see the best in myself.  How in the world will I survive without him for 30 days, he is my rock... my voice of reasoning.  I thought for sure, this was going to be my breaking point.

I realized I was very uncomfortable and it was then that I knew for sure I would have to do it, I have to get out of my comfort zone so that I can rely on myself and grow to my potential.  So then I had to talk to him and as usual he was beyond supportive, which is what I needed from him even if it was not what I wanted.  Besides, it is only for 30 days, I am going to do this with a great attitude and the time will fly by before I know it and in the meantime, I will learn something about myself.

Everyone in the group had things that they were uncomfortable with, having to give up caffeine was one of the largest things, I had already done this almost 2 months ago and I was feeling good about this... I should have known that there would be something over whelming that I would have to come to terms with.

It's odd but somehow I knew something like this was coming, I just wrote in my blog about a week ago that I would have to make a decision or it would be made for me.... I didn't make the decision and now it is made for me.  This is just a test I have to pass, I can do this, I am strong even if I don't feel like it.  There must be something huge I have to learn about myself, otherwise I would not have to go to such great lengths.  It seems this is always how it is with me, I have to have the big life changes to make the changes I need to in my life.