Being Who I Am

It is scary to open yourself up, to be honest about who you really are.  I mean... what if you tell someone all your innermost secrets and they laugh or ignore you or worse, they use those secrets against you.   When this happens because unfortunately it happens, since there is no way to be sure of a persons intent. We cannot allow these people to break our spirit or to stop us from opening up to the next person.

All people are not inherently bad or hurtful, I believe most people are good deep down.  I just think that some people allow the hurt that has happened to them to break them, to give them an excuse to hurt someone else.  I choose not to hurt someone just because I have been hurt, I choose to trust that most people are worth the chance.  No one can tear me down, except for me, for it is what I believe about myself that matters.

I have had many hurtful things said to me over the years, in the past I allowed those stories to become mine until a few years ago, I made the conscious choice to remember that just because someone says something mean and hurtful to me doesn't make it true.  The only way it can be true is if I believe it...

When I tell people that I have found my soul mate, that person that I can open up to about anything... they have a hard time believing it's true.  That is only because they have never met anyone they could open up to  so much.  I ask them straight out... have you EVER met anyone you can tell anything to?  They say, no.... I tell them, I have and it's amazing.  If I had allowed my past to shape me, I never would have found that person, I never would have believed people existed like that.

The next thing I ask is if they think they could tell all their innermost thoughts and secrets to someone and feel safe?  Most people have told me no.... they say that if they were to be that open, they fear that the people they love and care about would run away from them.  I actually think if we could be more honest and open with the people we love, that it would bring us closer to each other.

What is a relationship if you cannot be open, I don't want to live in fear of having someone that I love finding out something that would make them leave. Instead, I choose to be open and take the chance up front so that I won't be disappointed in the future.