Love Ourselves First

 I have been pondering true happiness, it's not about suffering or having a Peter Pan attitude. True happiness is being happy with the outcome, knowing that was exactly what was supposed to happen. We certainly have the right to be sad or disappointed for a dream or hope we may have had.

However; we should not wallow in the loss. I say this as a person who wasted many years wallowing in loss and thinking poor me. I was NOT happy, I attracted people who were like me and then I wondered why I couldn't change my attitude.  Hmmm, first off, I had to stop accepting negativity in my life in as many forms as possible and second I don't look for people to make me happy anymore, I make a conscious decision daily to be happy. I want to be an inspiration to people so hopefully they won't waste so much of their lives wishing they could be happy.

You can be happy, really happy; I am proof of that. My life is not simple or perfect, my life is challenging but I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm in love with my high school crush who although he loves me, it's not to the same degree that I love him. I could be angry or sad but he (David) does not define my happiness.

I would have no business putting that on him or any other person. Because I don't get angry or sad at David, he and I can continue to be the best and closest friends and no one knows what the future holds. I am living for me and not waiting around for the outcome.

I heard something recently that we are the stories we tell ourselves. I've changed the story, I used to say, 'I'm a single mother again'.  I now say, I'm a mama again to another wonderful daughter, I am so blessed. There are many women who would want what I have, I'm lucky and grateful. Does it make me the best mama? No, I am doing the best I can daily to be a better mama. I make plenty of mistakes but I continue to learn.

I know I've said this before but it keeps coming up in my mind and heart. We as human beings were brought to this earth to love each other and NOT to judge each other. When we judge each other, we show our ignorance. Honestly who do any of us think that we are making a judgment against another person?

Does any of us really know what a person has gone through to get to where they are? We don't know, so we shouldn't judge, it makes us look like we think we're better than that person, we are not!  Sadly the person we judge the harshest is ourselves, instead we should realize how wonderful we are for overcoming the many challenges we have had in our life



Love ourselves so that we can love one another.