So my ex to be (Andrey) just advised me that the hospital/jail may be letting him out within a month. I was pretty upset as I don't trust him when he's not locked up since he probably won't take his medication and he'll start drinking again. I just love the justice system, the best thing is that it seems no one in authority is going to tell me. Even after the police told me that they felt I was at the top of the list for being re-offended by him again. They think that since I stood up to Andrey that he will retaliate against me.
I'm going to hope that Andrey messes up before he gets out, he always seems to screw up. I will make sure that I'm not alone where he could get to me as I honestly don't trust him. He's a scary individual, especially when he starts drinking excessively. I won't be anywhere without my blackberry, not that I ever am but I'm going to be totally aware of my surroundings.
I already see how it upsets him that he has lost control of me. That ship has sailed, I will not sit idly by and bow down to any of his demands. Sometimes he tries to put me down but I just smile and remember every soft, kind and gentle word from my David. I don't believe a word coming out of Andrey's mouth, I believe my David.
Basically I know that Andrey comes from a place where he lacks love for anything or anyone, mainly himself. The only reason a person could hurt another person the way that Andrey has hurt me is that he lacks love, doesn't believe he is worthy of love so he lashes out. It was so difficult to handle for me but I really know and believe this.
I have to forgive him for me to move on, does that mean I have to trust him to not hurt me, that would be foolish and I don't plan to be that mindless. I do forgive him for if I didn't he would continue to have power over me and I no longer want him to have any control over me.
Hello Launna:
ReplyDeleteObviously when Andrey is released from prison this may be both a difficult and worrying time for you. You are, we believe, right to take extra care but equally this change in circumstances must not be allowed to determine how you live.
Thank you Jane and Lance, I agree with you, I do not want Andrey to determine how I live but I will take extra care:)
DeleteLaunna, you're just one of the most caring and loving people ever! :)
ReplyDeleteSusanna, you just made me cry... thank you for the kindest words from such a lovely and spiritual young woman :)
DeleteForgiveness is not giving the right to Andrey about you, but show their superiority, Launna on it. Congratulations on your attitude.
ReplyDeleteThank you Jaqueline, I totally agree that it is not giving Andrey anything, it is helping me :)
DeleteOh, God! I hope he will stay away from you although you still need to take some safety measures to make sure if he does get close, you are protected.
ReplyDeleteNo one should have control over you, no one but yourself and as strong and positive as you are, I'm sure he won't manage to.
Take care of you and precious Valentina.
Hugs
I will take care Petro... Andrey has no more control over me:)
DeleteYou are so Strong Launna. One, who has power now is you. With your forgiveness. Table has turn and you are even stronger!
ReplyDeleteNo one can hurt you couse you have grown above that! And I'm so happy about that! It's not easy, I was similar situation when i was younger. I tell you later about that, now Im just so happy that you Found strongness in your heart. :)))) And good night From Finland ;)
Awe, thank you Maarit, I am so happy I have come to know you and so many others through the blogging world. I feel so blessed:)
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