I completed my CPA questions and assignment, wooo. Two more chapters and then the final, I'll be a really happy girl. I'm already happy, I just want the tension gone from worrying about assignments.
I even feel better about David, I'm still taking time to heal, I have to. I don't want to be crying every second day. Even though he and I are soul mate best friends; it would be tiring for him to just hear me cry or know I was sad all the time.
I know that taking this time will heal me so that I can be best friends with him. I want him in my life but I want to be happy about it, I don't want to live in the past and with the memories. The past is just that, the past.
I only have today, I have things in my life that I need to fix then we will see where the future leads. I want the whole package or I want nothing. As sad as I would be for not having romantic love in my life, I'll deal with it.
With my CPA course I haven't been able to read my blogs, I'm catching up over the weekend. I really miss reading all my blogs from my reading list. There are so many people I look forward to reading, from the fashion blogs, to the poetry one, to the life blogs.
It's funny how a day or two makes a difference. That's why when I have those sad dark moments that I remind myself strongly that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. No matter how hard a day is, I believe things can turn around on a dime.
I just needed to get perspective, I really need to give service to others and stop dwelling in the past. That is what makes us sad; does that mean that I have stopped loving David, I'm pretty sure that won't change any time too soon. The rose colored glasses have come off though and that is good.
I still think he's amazing but I no longer sit in awe of him, he's just a human being like me. Yes he's kind, loving and wonderful; he does have his faults though, he doesn't see that I'm the best for him. Besides I told David that it's his loss, I'm awesome;). He laughed and said you ARE awesome. Anyhow , time to work on being the best me that I can be.
This weekend is going to be for me and Valentina and some cooking :). Also catching up on all my blogs. Have an awesome weekend everyone:)
*hugs tight*
ReplyDeleteI've just finished reading your last few entries and am so sorry to hear what has happened.
I know what a broken heart is like, and it's no small thing. I think you're definitely taking the right positive attitude about it though.
Time and some distance from David (for a few months if you can), will heal your heart. I recommend getting a really fantastic novel you always wanted to read, and a tv series on dvd that has like ten seasons, and by the time you've finished the book and the series, your heart will be well on its way to healing.
And whenever you need a hug, Valentina will be there! :) And so will we, for all the e-hugs you need!
<3
Sasha
Sasha, that is an awesome idea. I have been wanting to read a novel for sometime.... I think I will take Valentina to the library and pick one up. I also think I will download all the episodes of Charmed, it is only 8 seasons but I am sure that is good too...
DeleteI know I am going to miss talking to David but I am doing this so that I can talk to him in the future. He really is one of the kindest, sweetest men in the world and like I said, no one knows the future. I just need to take care of myself in the present :)
You are sweet Sasha... I am grateful for the blogging world, it has helped me once again in another time:)
You've got A BIG HUG from Finland! <3
ReplyDeleteAwe Susanna, those hugs from Finland are the best<3
DeletePraying for you, my friend. You are such a light to the rest of us. And an example of strength, perseverance and faith. Please know that one of your blog friends from Alberta is thinking of you and hoping that you find the peace and happiness you so much deserve. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Diane, I haven't given up hope! I just have to step back and get some perspective... I know where my future is supposed to be. I just want to be happy getting there :)
DeleteLaunna, missed you.
ReplyDeleteBut I'm happy to know that despite the sadness in your heart you are well.
Funny, I went out with a man, he asked me to in "dating" while he coveted another woman in front of me. When I saw a taxi coming, I ran like Cinderella, I entered the taxi, and he ran after me, but it was too late! I will not beg for love, he was lost.
Think so, Launna, you are more you God!!!!
Thank you Jaqueline, I love your attitude... I am getting there as well. I am awesome and it will be David's loss if he he doesn't wake up and realize it;) He does tell me often that I am awesome and wonderful:)
DeleteDear Launna,
ReplyDeleteI'm happy to see you are feeling better and you are getting closer to finish with your CPA, that ads up to your stress to, I think :(
Have a wonderful rest of the weekend!
Hugs
CPA totally adds up to me being stressed... I can't wait for it to be over.
DeleteI am feeling better though, I will work on it to keep feeling better.
I hope you have have a wonderful weekend as well :)
I have no worries for you..You are a very strong lady and besides...you have Valentina, so you'll never allow yourself to be weak. The future looks bright...don't you love new beginnings>?
ReplyDeleteThank you Unikorna, I am strong but still very soft inside. I try not to be weak but sometimes it takes over me. New beginnings are good but I an not one to give up the past to easily. Especially when I know something is meant to be... I know what I know and I don't give up... Not sure if that is a weakness but I will take it as a strength.
Delete