An Apology And Pledge To My Daughters

If a child is given love, he becomes loving ... If he's helped when he needs help, he becomes helpful. And if he has been truly valued at home ... he grows up secure enough to look beyond himself to the welfare of others. ~ DR. JOYCE BROTHERS

I've felt compelled to write a letter to my children, an apology letter.  On the whole I know I've been a fairly decent mother but I've not been spectacular.

I have a deficiency when it comes to giving my inner self to them, I love them both with all my heart but I feel that sometimes I lack that motherly part when I could be making more time for both of them. 

So, I've made a decision that although I will blog daily as I can write it while I am on my way to work; that is all I will do through out the week.  I apologize that I won't be commenting daily but I really need to spend more time, quality time with my children.  I will visit and comment on all your blogs on the weekend, I love keeping up with them all.

That means 2 things, my DVR goes back this week, no more cable.  Internet only, I will allow myself one hour to blog per day as well as any social media.  I will actively play with Valentina, I will do what she wants to do.  Then I will call Andrea a few hours per week to see how she and her beautiful family are doing.

Right now I have to study for my CPA nightly for the next two weeks, then to bed early every night.  I will allow a couple of extra hours on the weekend for the internet.  Just not all day. 

I have been in a funky mood lately, I just miss my best friend, I'm very used to talking to David regularly and than to go to nothing, that has been very hard.  His job and the course he is taking is keeping him very busy.

In the mean time, my daughters are going to come first for me, as they always should.  I will always make time for him later in the evening.  But I need to salvage and improve my relationship with them.  I realized that I messed up and I didn't give time as much as I could have.

I guess my only excuse is that I had so little love for myself that it was difficult to give it to them.  It is so important to have self love when you have children, other wise they grow up lacking.  I have to change that.   I pledge going forward that I will spend only an hour on the internet per evening. 

I may not have always been at my computer but it was always on and I was always jumping on for just a minute... those minutes lasted far too long.  So, I will be turning the computer off.  I need to spend as much time as I can with my children, especially since I won't be seeing Andrea this summer:(  So no Paul:( and no Jackson:(.   We will have to Skype this summer.

"Everything you want, also wants you" ~ Jack Canfield