Today I thought I need to change some things in my life, some big things, some small things. This got me thinking how I need to go on a journey, one of myself. I have decided that dating is off the table for me for at least one year. One year of not even thinking about it, not trying to engage in it. I am just going to be with myself this year. I am going to get to know myself better in that I am going to try to figure out what makes me, me?
I'm going back to the beginning, the first memories I had with my mom, then onward through the years of Ruth.... I want to see if I can find the moment in my past that I felt I didn't deserve to be loved? When did that happen? It certainly shaped me, allowed me to accept less as I felt I only deserved less.
I am hoping this journey will finally give me a small understanding as why I have accepted so little and expected even less. I am thankful my oldest Andrea did not take on that weakness of mine, I am hoping Valentina will not, this time I am taking the time to really figure out why I behave the way that I do.
I know I have overcome a lot of challenges in my life and became better because of them but there are weaknesses inside of me that I really want to change and I think I won't be able to make those changes until I can figure out what it is that had me thinking so little of myself.
Along this journey, I have also decided to finally do something about my weight, first I am going to look into getting into a running club, I am just going to make the time. I think it will be therapeutic for me and it will help me to feel stronger so I can start doing even more things I thought I would or could never do.
My eating habits have become lazy lately... really unbearable for me when I was eating so very healthy for 6 months and then I just let it go. So now I am thinking of doing a 30 day cleanse again. I am also going to get into a yoga class to teach myself to breathe, this next year I am taking care of myself.
I have chosen Monday August the 6th as the day I start. I will have time to research the yoga and running club places and I will be able to get my kitchen ready. I am going to measure and weigh myself and I will start keeping up with this on a weekly basis.
"Everything you want, also wants you" ~ Jack Canfield
This is going to be such an amazing year for you. I'm so very excited for your journey and will be here to cheer you on.
ReplyDeleteI was just thinking about a simple idea, when a thought becomes solidified as a belief and then our actions start to take root in how we perceive ourselves. It will be interesting to see when you started to believe certain things about yourself.
Wonderful post!!! I look forward to hearing all about it. Hugs!!!
Sounds like a great plan. I like that you blocked out a year but also gave yourself goals for this week. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteThanks Suzanne, I am looking forward to having some structure in my life and exercising will really help to center me. I am one of those people that needs someone to do this with, I excel with other people.
ReplyDelete;)
Thanks Cindy, it looks like it will be bumped back until I get my bonus in August, that is fine, more time to clear up little issues to be prepared to deal with the bigger ones:)
ReplyDeleteCongrats ~ Found your blog on Google while searching for a related topic, your site came up, it looks good, keep them coming !
ReplyDeleteJoga . <3
ReplyDeleteLove it . <3
it's lovely how you take charge of yourself again when you know you slipped, or made a mistake
ReplyDeletekeep the spirits up.!.
XD
Dziękuję Nalka, jesteś taki słodki :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Sayid, it is not always that easy but I am working on it:)
ReplyDeleteSometimes is good to stop and think about new challenges and ilusions for future. Good luck with your interesting plans! Greetings!
ReplyDeleteThank you Armando, I really appreciate your good wishes. I am sure it will be difficult at times but quite rewarding in the end;)
ReplyDeleteWow Launa I love that you try to plan every detail of your life...I am such a mess..It's great that, when you loose control... you fight so hard to regain it. Your daughters must be so proud of you :).
ReplyDeleteI'm not as strong as everyone thinks, I'm pretty weak but I work on it Unikorna.
DeleteThank you Anonymous for saying such kind words about my blog:)
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