I had a dream last night, a lovely dream; one I didn't want to wake up from. I even woke up with a smile on my face than it all came back to me that the dream was just that, a dream. I wanted to go back to sleep to continue it but off to work I go...
In my dream I somehow woke up when I was 14 and I knew all that I know now but it was like I was given a chance to start all over again. A chance to make it right, too bad I couldn't go back with the knowledge I have now. I definitely would have been able to deal with my ex step mother better, I wouldn't have allowed her to get into my head with her negative words as I did when I was younger.
I know, it's probably better that I can't go back or I could really make changes that ultimately might not be better for me... maybe, just maybe I wouldn't be the strong person I am today without all the really traumatic incidents. Perhaps I may not have learned tolerance and compassion as well, I somehow think I would have discovered this anyway as this is who I am.
For a moment I thought I wouldn't want to change the past for I may not have my children but I honestly believe you have the children you are destined to have regardless of the path you choose. Of course they may not look the way they do now but I believe I would have had their spirits as I was meant to be their mother.
This is all irrelevant anyhow... we cannot go back into the past, that is just a fantasy. I did however enjoy it immensely while I slept, it felt so real. Back to reality now... have I learned anything from my dream? Yes! A great deal more than I can even convey...
The past made you who you are now, a very strong and wise lady, not to mention sweet and very agreeable. It's always inspirational reading your posts Launa, your daughters must be so proud of you :).
ReplyDeleteThank you Petronela, my youngest Valentina is proud of me, my oldest thinks I'm too damaged. I love both of them very much:).
ReplyDeleteDreams are such a wonderful insight to what is going on from within!!! And I agree with Petronela, the past has made you who you are a very strong and wise lady. Hugs :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Suzanne... dreams can be wonderful and thank you for the kind words:)
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