So, I talked to my sister tonight who is doing the cleanse with me too, which is helpful. At least I have someone who is following it with me. Here's a great by product of the cleanse for me, since I could only blog or talk on the phone, I am in bed by 9:30. I'm sure my body doesn't know what to think, actually getting to sleep before 11:00.
I need one of our chats where he makes me laugh, which he always does when we talk. I miss that, I miss being able to tell him about my day, my epiphany's and hearing about his day. I loved ending my day after talking with him, I almost always smiled.
I know life is about change, I just never thought I wouldn't have that with him, we are so close. I don't know how to handle not having him in my life, I miss him; I wonder if he misses me too? I'm also so worried about his son Chris, I don't even know how he is and that makes me very sad.
My leg is still infected and I'm sure it will be for sometime, I'm hoping the specialists will finally see this infection is not going away and needs more than just pills that may clear the issue but it never completely heals.
I want to start running and this leg is hindering that, I'm not even supposed to be walking on it but I do have to work. So I'm resting it as often as possible. If I can just get it to a more healthy spot then I can finally start running. I'm not giving up on that idea, I'm going to make it happen.
Good luck with the cleanse. We can make changes in our lives, but it isn't easy. I think we just have to keep at it until the change becomes a habit. It takes time.
ReplyDeleteI had a man in my life that, pardon the expression, haunted me for years just as the thoughts, memories and feeling are you for your D. It was excutiating and I loved him deeply. He was an awful boyfriend and cheated on me all the time, but I kept taking him back again and again. I know D is not like that for you, but the feelings and rememberances can be the same. Still I felt love and compassion, still I ached for him whenever he was hurt, I still wanted him in my life. He took about 3 years from me. 3 years I will never get back. I never thought I would ever get past the grief of having him away from me. Not being able to talk with him, laugh with him, kiss him. I missed his sister - her and I were good friends, but being around her was even too painful. I know this situation and your situation are totally different Launna, but I do believe you are taking all the right steps to re-center and re-focus yourself. Be strong and confident in yourself! You are a stong and vibrant woman with a wonderful daughter!! After this cleanse I believe you will coime out renewed and refreshed and ready to go. Wherever life takes you, :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Daisy, I am working on being strong... not an easy task for me these days :S
ReplyDeleteThank you Joy, I wish I could be past this, it's so hard to deal with. I wish he had been mean, I wish he had intentionally hurt me, then I could get over him... I just don't know how I am going to... but I'm working on it... trying
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