Friends And Frenemies

 

I read another great blog by Joy from Joy's Journal Thoughts.  She wrote about how some friendships change no matter how hard we work on them.  I know what she means, I had what I thought was a very good friend for well over 20 years.

We became friends the summer of 1978 before we headed into grade 10.  We shared a locker and hung out with each other non stop.  She became pregnant when she was 17 and 4 months after she had her first daughter I had Andrea.  Her daughter and mine became the best of friends.

My friend and I went through highs and lows over the years, me forgiving her time and again for disrespecting me and going after any man I dated.  She usually succeeded, until I dated Tony and he was disgusted by her, that's saying a lot as he had no idea how to be faithful himself.

After Tony and I separated she and I over looked the past and became friends again.  We connected like crazy and we hung out all the time.  We went to all the latest movies, went to lunch or dinner at least once a week, played board games endlessly and talked for hours

Then she and I went out dancing downtown one night and true to form she let me down again by not leaving with me, I walked home that night.  Of course she called the next day very apologetic, she had met a man, a Russian guy.  Within a month I ended up meeting Andrey through them, we started hanging out together as couples.
                                                            
Oh, did I fail to tell you she was married with 4 children, she talked about leaving her husband, I told her I couldn't judge her for that but that I could not understand her leaving her children.  However; she up and left her family for this man.  Our friendship went down hill after this as Andrey didn't like her but it wasn't so much that he didn't like her as he wanted total control over me.

Once Andrey and I broke up he even ended up 'dating' her.  At this point I could have cared less.  I no longer wanted to demean myself and be 'friends' with her.  I more than likely will never speak to her again, I've forgiven her as none of those men really meant anything to me but I'll never give her another chance to hurt me again.
                                                                                                  
From what I've heard through the years, she and the Russian guy finally separated after she destroyed her family. I don't know very much about what she's doing now and frankly I rarely think about her.  The only thing I missed was the type of friendship we had, where we hung out together all the time.
                                

I really think that I was starved for that type of friendship when David came back into my life. He and I connected on a deeper level than I ever thought possible.  We have the same kind of crazy humor where we could laugh non stop and we both loved to talk endlessly.  Oh yes I can talk but so can David.

Some friendships are worth working on to save, others need to be let go and move on. The older I get the easier it is to tell these friends apart.

                                             
"Everything you want, also wants you" ~ Jack Canfield