How am I supposed to carry on? That question haunts me daily. I feel paralyzed, stuck in the mud, not able to move. Each step I try to take is full of resistance.
I read a great blog today
Gail's Fourm about moving through the forest even when we are afraid. Like the writer, I have come to the edge of the forest, just to peer into it, sometimes I have even gone half way in, only to run back to what I perceived as safe. My so called safety has not served me well, instead I have stagnated and fallen further back, only to fail more than if I had just taken the chance and gone through the unfamiliar woods.
The question I have for myself is will I continue to be afraid? Or will I grow and move forward? I know what path I want and need to choose. Can I do it without failing miserably again? I don't think fear is bad, it tries to keep us safe. Unfortunately when it is at its worst is when I never move one inch forward because I am so scared.... when will I grow if I don't take a chance?
Maybe if I accept that I might fail and just keep moving forward. Eventually I'll get to the other side and succeed. Isn't this all we really want, to just get through the loss, the grief, the sadness, the pain... whatever it is that holds us back from being who we are meant to be. Really, isn't there something better if we keep moving forward, I have to believe that there is or there would be no reason to live this life.
I still believe in love, I don't believe in fairy tale endings anymore though. They don't exist. Not that fairy tales are bad things, we all should have fun and believe in them when we are children but the reality is that relationships take hard word, they are never easy. There are times you grow apart, it depends on how much you love the other person if you are to grow together again. Some you hold onto, others you let go because you know they were never worth it in the beginning. The ones you hold onto are the ones that come but once or twice in a life time.
"Everything you want, also wants you" ~ Jack Canfield
I think many people are where we are. It's certainly not easy to face the unknown.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to this Launna. Fear is paralyzing me at the moment. I guess you could call it a positive and negative coping mechanism at the same time. One which protects us as you say but then holds us back. Keeping trying to move forward is the only way but it needs courage and sometimes I think God has to give us that courage because perhaps we cannot always do it on our own. Blessings Launna.
ReplyDeleteI believe you are right Gail, many people are exactly where we are, it isn't easy!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment Behind the Smile, I appreciate and agree with you, I think Heavenly father is always there, holding me up when I fell I cannot go on:)
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