Even when times are difficult or challenging–especially when times are difficult and challenging–the present is always an opportunity for us to learn, grow, and become better than we've ever been before. ~ Hal Elrod
I want my reality back, not the one I have right now. This one is too hard to deal with emotionally. How could every thing be so wonderful and than be changed to what my life is now?
I have began wondering if one day I will feel whole again? I've been in so many pieces for such a long time. I remember a time I felt complete... it really was an amazing time in my life.
Everything I read and hear tells me that we have to be broken down to be built up to something better. When will I be built up again? Am I doing something to prevent myself from growing? Lately I've felt that it is me that needs to make a huge change, one I'm terrified of; one that makes me cry.
I've held back hoping I was wrong, now I'm beginning to believe it's the only way to move on. Otherwise I may be in this same spot in a year, five years, ten years. Don't I truly want better, to be deliriously happy? Maybe part of me believes that I'm not meant to have that kind of happiness?
I have never had any long lasting happiness, all of it has been fleeting; only to become more sad and broken each time I try... maybe I just have to give myself over to the whole process. No matter how it feels, just let it be and build from there.
I know this is not the most uplifting post but my blog is my journal, it is about how I feel on any given day or moment. It is my place to work out my feelings, it helps me to see where I have been and where I am going. This year has been the most incredibly hardest year of my life... one I was not sure I could get through. I am here though, still working through my emotions... still standing when even I didn't believe in myself.
"Everything you want, also wants you" ~ Jack Canfield
So sorry that you are felling this way today. I have been there many times---I use humor in my blog to pull me out of my darker moods. Menopause creates a lot of my mood swings, and it's even worse when bad things happen--like our current unemployment state. What works for me is that old, cliche saying, "take one day at a time" because it is too overwhelming to try to look days, weeks or years into the future. You really do just have to live for the moment and keep reminding yourself that things WILL change...just maybe not at the pace that you would like. Hang in there...
ReplyDeleteThank you Menopausal mama... it has been a rough go for the past couple of weeks due to a health issue. It can certainly affect our moods. I truly appreciate your comments and being able to read the humor in your blog:)
ReplyDeleteOh I have been there, and there, and there again. I totally get it. If blogging helps you process whatever it may be that you are experiencing you have to do it. You have to stay true. Whatever darkness is hovering over you at the moment..... Praying for angels to lift it away so you can see sunshine again.
ReplyDeleteThank you Joy, I think I have to learn to let things go and not have them my way, even if I know it's right. I can't force the issue even though it breaks my heart. I just want to get better, I don't want to cry all the time. Either decision will leave me with a broken heart, I'm trying to pick the least sad one. Thanks for any and all prayers, I'll return the favor :)
ReplyDeleteReally agree with your opening quote: Even when times are difficult or challenging–especially when times are difficult and challenging–the present is always an opportunity for us to learn, grow, and become better than we've ever been before. ~ Hal Elrod. Also sharing on your blog is about what makes it real and look at how your followers just keep on growing. You arfe a great help to many people because you share what is happening for you.
ReplyDeleteThank you All Things Good, that is so very kind of you to say, I am grateful if I touch anyone and help them..
ReplyDeleteSure, if you link it you can share my blog post. :)
ReplyDeleteThe truth is, I wrote the text because I'm in love with a good friend. I don't want to lose our friendship, but I also can't go on like this, because... he's really all I'm thinking of.
I know I should make the first step and be more brave... but I'm so unsure.
Probably you will think, this are just Teenager-Problems, and nothing really serious. Maybe it is. But it's love.
Can I know what YOU think of when you read my little text?
I would be glad :)
Ooooh, I read your post! :/
ReplyDeleteI hope you get better, soon.
Don't give up, please.
I understand that it's a horrible phase you go trough, and sure, you can be sad and all this.
But at on point, you must get yourself up again and live, becouse life is a gift we shouldn't chuck away
I hope you are feeling better by now Launna. I am late in getting around reading blogs as I so often am. All I can say is I think everyone has times like this in their lives. Be patient and be good to yourself. I think things will get better for you with time.
ReplyDeleteSonja, I don't think any love is less than another love just because you are a teenager... I know how you feel, I am in love with my best friend, he was 15 when I met him and 33 years later I fell in love with him...
ReplyDeleteI say take the chance, even though my heart is broken and I am without who I love, I had the best year in 2011, the most wonderful holidays... the happiest I ever was. It was the most incredible feeling I have ever felt. Yes it is hard coming down from that but just maybe it will work out for you.
Don't worry Sonja, it has been my health that has had me down... when you feel pain all the time it is hard to stay positive, I am getting better slowly, I see a light :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Daisy, I am looking forward to a new post by you :)
ReplyDeleteI am getting better slowly, pain is difficult to deal with!
Ok, thank you.
ReplyDeleteI will try it...
And i'm happy to hear that you are getting better ;)
Let me know if you try Sonja, I hope it works out amazing for you <3
ReplyDelete