I am not a superstitious person but I am beginning to believe that 2012 has been a cursed year. Next year I am going to fill a jar with all the wonderful things and events that happen to me so that I can have a reminder at the end of the year. I know if I try to think of any awesome times in 2012, I am hard pressed to remember anything amazing. Especially these last two months.... My 'D' has informed me that he is having complications and may need another operation... I need to calm down but oh my gosh... really?
My leg is healing but slower than I thought, there are still times that I step down to get off the bus and I am so fearful my leg will buckle and I will fall flat on my face. At least it is not all day weakness and pain anymore, so it's healing but taking its time. I have just had a tough year over all, I have not been sick in the normal sense of a cold but I have been battling other types of health issues all year. It can be quite tiresome to have to deal with chronic pain, I am in awe of the many people I know that deal with this pain for years on end. What strength they have, I am not dealing with it as well but I work on that every day too.
I really need a change, the kind that can wipe this cloud that has been following me all year. It started off with finding out that David and I were not going to be together as I had been sure we were meant to be together that it hit me very hard and emotionally I am still healing from that loss... to Andrea and I not talking, all because we don't have the same opinion, this saddens me... I don't understand, I wish we could just come to an agreement that we can have our own opinions and that is okay. I only want to respect her and have her respect me. I agree with her I have not been the typical mother, I am pretty unconventional... I say unique. Being quirky is a part of me, I understand that is difficult for her to deal with but I love her with all my heart regardless of any of her quirkiness.
Then my leg became painful... it has not been a stellar year for me. I am really looking forward to this changing soon, it has to just be a cycle. 2011 was a year that I could give many incredible experiences, I was very happy throughout the whole year. So these things just have to go in cycles, life always changes. Unfortunately David has had the same sort of year, it was just one thing after another culminating in him having health issues to deal with. Honestly I think most people I know in my life are going through such hard to deal with issues, I pray it all changes for us in the near future.
So as I said earlier, one of those way that I am going to ensure there will be changes is that I will fill a jar with each good thing that happens to me, so that when I feel like nothing good is happening, I will just have to open the jar and read some of the memories. The challenge that I read was to do this for a year, I am not going to put a limit on this, I am just going to go with it. This will just be for me and I will share when I feel inspired to do so.
"Everything you want, also wants you" ~ Jack Canfield
I'm so sorry, my friend. I love the idea of a jar. Focus on the positive on the darker days. ((Hugs)) to you.
ReplyDeleteThank you Jess, you're so sweet:).
ReplyDeleteI love that idea! Stay positive and shine! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Susanna... I think having the jar of happiness will always remind me of how much joy I actually have in my life:)
ReplyDeleteI hope next year is a much better one for you, Launna. I really like your idea of a happy memories jar! Have a nice weekend.
ReplyDeleteThank you Daisy, I am already thinking of the jar and wanting to see it filled ;)
ReplyDeleteI decided I'm doing the jar thing, too :). I was talking to my mum about the year, and it's been tough. I've had 4 psych admissions, I almost got thrown out of uni and then had to leave anyway. Two girls I knew died of Anorexia. I'm stuck inside 'cause of agoraphobia and Anorexia... but actually, there have been lovely moments too. Like when my little cousins hug me and tell me that they love me. When I've laughed until I cried at summmat that somebody has said. It's been painful, but every day the sun rises. It might be behind a veil of cloud, but it's there and you know it, because day is always brighter than night. Right now the nights are longer, but still the sun shines <3
ReplyDeleteRebecca, that is so touching, this is why I want to do this jar... not for the big things but for the small wonderful joys... they are what gets me through the next challenge, thank you so much for commenting;)
ReplyDeleteSame goes with me this year look like a cursed year LOL..wish you and me next year will more better yeah..hope you getting recover soon from everything ^_^ enjoy ur life as much you can as long as we still enjoy it..don let the sadness conquer your life ^_____^take care
ReplyDeleteAwe thank you Wawa Kyoko, I hope next year is a much better year fr all of us:)
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