What I Am Afraid Of

I'm afraid of heights but I can't wait to zip line as scary as it will be, is as fun as I think it will be. I just have to find someone who drives to go down to the valley to do this with me, hopefully this summer.

I'm afraid of hiding who I am with the most important people in my life. Some of those people judge me, others make me feel like if I don't hide what I am really thinking that I will lose them.  I'm not even sure what is harder; hiding who I am or being judged? 

I guess it's really important who the person is, for example my oldest daughter.  She and I are super close, she's a lot like me when I was younger.  I have mellowed a great deal, I don't see the world in black and white; I see it in full and living color.

She wants me to 'compromise', which means I cannot speak my opinions that are different to hers.  The only reason I have difficulty with this is because I believe we all have a right to our own opinions.  I don't think we need be mean and argumentative about our choices.  I personally won't conduct discussions with anyone who can't respect that other people have different opinions.

That doesn't mean I won't speak to these people, I just talk about different things. The older I get the less I want to have disagreements with other people about things that don't really matter.  Certain things or events in life are not worth disagreeing about.  I think we all need to at least look at the other persons side of things and then agree to disagree and move on.

I'm afraid of losing people from my life.  I understand it is a part of life... friends come and go, even your family moves away, it's not always simple to stay connected even in this world where it seems we are on over load with connections.  Even with all the social media we have, it is still not easy to keep in close contact.  I really believe it is harder because we ARE on media overload...

I am hoping my writing down what I am afraid of that I will turn the light on them and see that none of these fears are fears that I should have... I know what I have to do in all these situations and even though I know what is right, it doesn't make it easy.

"Everything you want, also wants you" ~ Jack Canfield