I have been thinking about how betrayal and loss of trust could really destroy a person if they let it... It's incredibly difficult to process how a person that you felt connected with could do or say things that hurt you so much. The truth is that not all people are out to hurt others, the one's that do this are hurting inside themselves... they don't know how to be any other way.
I am not saying that anyone should keep a relationship with someone who betrays you, I am saying that I wouldn't let what that person did reflect on who I am as a person. I could sit here and berate myself for being with Andrey, there were so many whispers and nudges in the beginning, how could I miss them. I won't though, I recognize that I am a good person, I believe that people are all good inherently until they show me otherwise.
However; I did take a while to process all of the things that Andrey did to me over the years, the harsh words, the cheating, the shoving, the slap in the face after we were separated, the rape that nearly devastated me. Not every man is Andrey, not every man is out to hurt me, David proved that to me... Although my David and I are only friends now, he never destroyed my trust in him.
I could have let the whole thing with Andrey destroy me but than I would never have taken the chance to be with my David and see that all men are not created equal. All men are not out to hurt me and truthfully I even wonder if Andrey was out to hurt me in the beginning or if he just disliked himself so much that he has no self esteem and lashed out. Whatever it was with him, I am not taking that on myself.
Over the past couple of years, I have come to realize more and more that people just want to be loved, seen and heard. Some people have no idea how to ask for it, so they act out of fear which causes them to push someone away which causes more fear for them... I won't live with the fear!
I won't allow betrayal by one person to destroy my trust in others...
"Everything you want, also wants you" ~ Jack Canfield
I love the second message. the third one is quite assertive. The combination of the two should make two people understand each other.
ReplyDeleteThank you Munir, I agree... the combination should make two people understand each other :)
ReplyDelete"I won't allow betrayal by one person to destroy my trust in others."
ReplyDeleteThat is my favorite line in this post, Launna. It's so true. Just because someone betrays your trust and disappoints you, it doesn't mean that everyone will.
yeah
ReplyDeleteI lost the one man whom I love because of something I did
I just hope we'll be able to stay friends
~sigh~
Thank you Daisy... I don't believe that one person should destroy my trust on others... Otherwise I would never trust again...
ReplyDeleteAwe Sayid, I hope you will be able to stay friends too...
ReplyDeleteYou are a very wise lady who knows what she wants, I am sure you will find your love, someone who really sees you the way you really are . Have a happy new year, Launna!
ReplyDeleteThank you Petronela, I wrote this for a closr friend who is dealing with this pain
ReplyDeleteThis is a beautiful post. So honest and open. Thank you for sharing it. I am sure there are women out there in the same situation right now you were in before. May this post give them strength to see and to act. I am so glad to know you. You are such a strong and vibrant woman!
ReplyDeleteLaunna, you are correct in your reasoning.
ReplyDeleteWe should not judge people by one act.
Each of us has to be what causes!
Kisses and good 2013.
As they say, it's hard to get back up on the horse after you've been thrown but you have to do it right away or else you'll never trust them enough to ride again.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment Joy... what you say about me made me really ponder and think about, you are right.. I am strong. Thank you for reminding me:)
ReplyDeleteThank you Jaqueline for you sweet comment, kisses to you and I hope 2013 is all you dream it will be and more:)
ReplyDeletemenopausal mama... can I say wow, what a great analogy, so very true... might be my new motto :)
ReplyDeleteYou've a point here, Launna, even though sometimes its easier said than done. I agree with you and I pray that God restores us who've faced and continue to face some difficulties in areas like this. You've come a long way. Keep up the motivation.
ReplyDeletehttp://missymayification.blogspot.co.uk