I Want Love, Nothing Less, Nothing More

"It's a beautiful thing when someone genuinely cares for you, for the person you are, not for what you can give them materialistically, or anything you can do for them to help them in any way, it's just because you are you, nothing more nothing less. ~ Patrick Hill

I read this quote and I was immediately touched by it, it spoke to my heart.   This is the kind of love I give to the person I care for, the type of love I've looked for all of my life....  it surely must exist, I've felt it for two people in my life.  More with my David than with Tony (Tony was my first love).

I have learned a hard lesson this past year.... it doesn't matter how much I love someone, it won't make them love me or themselves.  For a reason I will never understand, some people are afraid to be loved that much....  I am not afraid!!!

I know it can be scary to give your heart to another but I think it can be worth it if you just take a chance.  I've been working on convincing myself of this, this past year... although extremely painful... the memories are worth it.  I have some wonderful ones I would never trade. 

The past couple of days I have been highly emotional... I haven't been able to keep my emotions in check... the smallest thing can set me off.  I think I held myself back for the holidays, now that they have come and gone, I don't seem to have the will power to control them anymore. 

I was at work yesterday and I was commenting that I was excited about my new phone that had arrived and how pathetic it was that this lifted my spirits... I said I didn't have much to be happy about... another co-worker started telling me how I just have to be positive.

What a laugh, that's not true... I asked her to stop... please don't go on... she said but it's true.  I turned around and said, I don't feel that and if you continue on I will cry... I promptly cried.  She stopped, I know she felt I just needed to change my attitude.  I so wish that was true, I really used to believe that but lately I don't see that working.

My issue with this whole thing is that I know that real and honest love exists since I have felt it for two people in my life.... all I want is for someone to feel that way about me.  Why does love have to be so complicated?  I believe in being open and honest, why do other people not feel this is important? 

"Listen to your heart and follow it or it will find a million ways to remind you that there is something missing." ~Anon

"Everything you want, also wants you" ~ Jack Canfield