I finally got some sleep, not so much last night but today... which means I may not be able to sleep tonight. It's difficult to always know what to do when it comes to sleeping in the day but I have tried the day without a nap and still was not able to sleep. It's because there are times that I lay my head down, close my eyes and then all my feelings bombard me. If I sleep though I can't control my
thoughts and emotions like I can when I am awake but when I sleep all I do is
dream of David. How am I supposed to get over him if all I ever do is dream about him in my sleep.
I have been trying to get over it by controlling my thoughts... that only works for so long. Bottling up those feelings only enhances the emotions when something like a song comes on that has me sobbing and wishing... I had never known anyone that I could totally be myself with and say whatever was on my mind and not once felt judged, until I reconnected with him. Feeling so in sync with another person and seeing a long term future... for me an eternity. That is the dream that is hard to give up.
I am having a hard time dealing with all the let downs I have had in the
past year and a half... which then makes me feel ungrateful. It is an
endless circle I run in lately, part of me wants to find a way to deal
with it all and just move on... I don't want to cry just because I hear a
song, see something that reminds me that this was not the the way it
was supposed to be.
I have accepted my present and I am working on moving on... it's losing the future dreams that are more difficult. What I need to do is find a new dream for the future... and then have that be what I dream about when I am sleeping. I might actually be able to sleep then... Now to find that dream... is there a dream store? If only it was that easy....
I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future ♥
keep up with it
ReplyDeleteand stay strong
hope you'll overcome it soon
-hugs-
X)
Thank you Sayid... I am working on being strong... not always that easy... hugs to you - x
ReplyDeleteIt's not always easy but you have a lot of resilience. And your blogging family is always here for you!
ReplyDeleteThank you Keith... I am grateful for my blogging family:-)
ReplyDeleteLetting go of someone you love is THE HARDEST THING you will have to do in life. It leaves you raw and aching for such a long time.... but even though this is so cliche, time really does heal the wounds--you never forget, but time enables you to function...a teeny bit stronger each day. You just have to keep fighting until one day you wake up and it doesn't hurt anymore. That day will come. In the meantime, you lean on your friends and family---they'll help you through it.
ReplyDeleteAwe thank you Marcia... I can't wait to get to that point... the sooner the better :-).
ReplyDeleteI swear you and I are so much alike in so many ways because I know exactly what you mean and how you feel in this blog. It's so hard to just let things go, especially when you have been let down so much in the past.
ReplyDeleteJust keep your head up. It's about all you can do.
Best of luck!
Thank you Jaimie... it's great when someone else understands what I am trying to say :-).
ReplyDeleteOh I love the touch of magic from this post, lovely Launa...it proves that you feel so much better :)>
ReplyDeleteThank you Petronela... I am working on feeling better ;-)
ReplyDeleteDreams can be frustrating sometimes. Whether you're dreaming about something or someone wonderful and you don't ever want the dream to end (but, of course, it does), or if you have a nightmare that haunts not only your sleep but your daytime hours as well when you're awake--in both cases we have no control over them. I do learn things from mine though.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment Daisy... I've learned a lot from my dreams too... these one's about David are overwhelming...
ReplyDelete