Tenacity Can Mean Letting Go

It was a busy day yesterday, I had to go back to the doctors office to pick up paperwork I needed, he hadn't filled it out, I had to wait around.... finally I arrived home and had to scan this off to my insurance company. The better part of the afternoon was spent calling and making appointments so that I can be ready to go back to work... which is anywhere from two to four weeks.  Everything depends on how my two sites heal, both of them are looking good but they do each have a site that is taking longer.

I am feeling my strength build up, I am not as exhausted as I have been but I am not rushing it, I want to make sure both of my legs are healed... I do NOT want to go back to the hospital.  I am going to do whatever it is that I have to, to make sure I don't end up there again.  I don't like the feeling of being trapped and being dependent, I am so looking forward to feeling like myself soon.

I was going to write last night but I have been feeling melancholy, I wasn't even talking to anyone... I just wanted to think without interruptions, this is the time for me to reflect and ponder... before I am headed back to work and everyday life.  Having this time doesn't always feel like a blessing, it allows me to go to places that I have tried to close off.

I don't have anything to cloud my thoughts which believe me is much harder than I thought it was going to be.  I want to run away, hide and give up but my tenacity won't let me, it reminds me that I am stronger than I thought and even stronger than I want to be.  Sometimes I wish I wasn't quite so tenacious, I think life would be a little easier if I didn't hold on so tight.

Then I am reminded that my tenacity has got me to where I am today, definitely farther than many people would have believed, even myself sometimes...  Other times I think it can be a strength to know when to give up, I am still working on this one... knowing when?

I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future ♥