Another Kind Of Love

I have been debating the dating idea all day, I finally decided that I'm going to give myself a year.  I am going to concentrate on Valentina, my job and advancing as well as getting healthy and losing weight.  My life is going to be much too busy to have anyone in it.  I think once I lose the weight that I will feel more comfortable with dating again and I have come to an understanding with myself in that I am just not going to love anyone as much as I love my David but that doesn't mean I can't love someone else, it just means that it would be very different. 

David and I are closer in ways that most people are not, that is not easy to find even with just friends let alone love.  Most people are not always that open, it takes a great deal of trust to be that way with someone.  I think anyone who finds it knows how lucky they are and they don't take it for granted... I love that close friendship I have with David.  I do know that I need to move ahead in the future, especially since I do not want to repeat my mothers footsteps. 

I think that is what we learn from the people in our lives such as our parents, we watch how they handle the challenges that have been given to them and we either see them make strong choices and living by their convictions so that we too model this in our lives.  Or we see how they let the challenges get the better of them and we then choose to follow in their path or go ahead and make a better path. 

I will always love David, I will always be close to him... he will be the person I go to when I am feeling stressed or judged or I just need a laugh.  But I will need to step outside that huge comfort zone of mine since I don't want to spend my life alone... and I am great company, I am pretty happy being on my own... I don't need someone to entertain me... but I do think that having someone to share my life with would enrich me and make me a better person.  A more loving and giving person... I don't want to become bitter and sad in my old age, I want to smile and look back at my life and think wow, I really lived.

Once the time comes, I am sure I will blog about the dates...  That will be interesting for anybody I date, finding out they are being written about.... lol.   I used to wonder what my David thought about me writing about him so openly, I asked him one time if it was okay or if it bothered him?  He said no, it was okay... so that is why I am pretty open about him

I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future ♥