I Am Not An Accident

We walk away from our dreams afraid that we may fail or worse yet afraid we may succeed.

The second chapter of 'The Purpose Driven Life' by Rick Warren was easy for me to agree with as I already believe that I am not an accident and neither is anyone else.  I have always believed that you have the children you are destined to have, with the people you have them with.  I never believed a child to be illegitimate because their parents were not married, like Rick states, maybe the parents are illegitimate but not the children.

I cried when I listened to the message on the internet that comes along with it after I read the second chapter.  He stated how God never stops loving me, no matter what... he may not be pleased with some of my decisions but He is always there for me.  He never turns away from me, it is I who have walked away....  I know that not all people believe in 'God' per say but whatever it is that you believe in... a higher being... I just can't believe that this Earth was created by accident, it was made perfectly for us.

 

The reason I cried was because I know that my Heavenly Father loves me and yet I continually walk away from him when I am disappointed or sad or angry... and I am amazed every single time when I turn back towards Him and see that He is always there.  I love my children and I don't believe there is anything they could do for me not to love them and yet they can drive me a little crazy.  Mostly because I can see their potential and it is frustrating when they don't believe in themselves.  Much like God or your higher power that can see the potential in us and we fail to see what He sees in us.  It must be frustrating for Him too. 

I have been very emotional for the past couple of weeks, I think because I have to think about and deal with things I don't want to... I am usually able to keep myself busy but being home has made it much more challenging ... and studying this book is only making me more emotional, which I did not think was possible... but it is.  I think it is good though, I am finally dealing with some things that I didn't want to because they were too painful... to sad.

I had an a-ha moment which really made me really emotional, one that I can't share right now because I need to share it with someone first, than I will post it here later.  Suffice to say that even though I had the a-ha moment, it doesn't make it any easier, it is still sad, still difficult to handle.  See.. even when you know the right thing to do, it doesn't make it any easier, even though it should....

I am only two days into this forty days, if I am feeling like this now... I am wondering how I will feel in forty days... 

I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future ♥