It's Not About Me





Wow, I have read my first chapter of 'The Purpose Driven Life', it is only five pages long, however; there is a 45 minute video that you watch after you read.  This 40 days that I have committed to is not a quick thing I will be doing.  I have decided that I will choose to watch the video and read the chapter in the morning and then I will think about it through the day and I will blog in the evening...

The first thought or point to ponder is "It's not about me"...  I truly believe this, I know I have tried to make it about me several times in my life by thinking what should I do with my life?  What are my goals?  What are my dreams?  Although I believe having goals and dreams are good things to have in my life... otherwise I founder with no purpose.  Instead of thinking what should I do with my life?  I need to think "What does God want me to do with my life?

I am a Christian, I believe in God... I respect everyone's opinions, I don't force my opinions on anyone else.  I have always been one of those people who does not feel comfortable talking about God with just anyone since I didn't want people thinking I was being pushy or that I know more than they do.  I am not embarrassed to believe in my faith, I have not always been open about it.... especially when I was living the complete opposite of what I believed in, I never wanted the church to be judged on my actions.

Whenever it is brought up, I am honest, I tell people I am a member of The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints (LDS).  I usually ask them not to judge the church by me, I realize that because my life has not gone the way that I wanted it to go that I turned away and basically said 'okay, if I can't have what I want, I will live however I feel like living'.  This makes me wonder how committed I am?  I made this about me and it's not...

This chapter and video reminded me that I was not born to have life my way, I was born to give love, compassion and kindness.  My Heavenly Father wants me to be happy, he wants all of us to find joy and honestly the only way for me to have happiness and joy is serve and love other people.  If I serve, I will be able to stop centering on myself and what I feel I lack... and what do I feel that I lack?  Love... That's pretty self centered of me as I know there are many people who love me... I wanted things my way and in my time and I didn't care about what God might have wanted for me.

I sometimes even thought why does so and so have what I want and they don't appreciate it?  I thought just give me what I want, I will be grateful, I will appreciate it.  Would I though?  or would I be ungrateful and looking for the next thing I want... Besides, who am I to judge anyone on whether they are grateful enough for what they have?  I can only judge myself and not others, it's not about me.

After reading and pondering this chapter, I realize I have been centered on what I want for me ... which I recognize is a bit selfish. I do want to preface this to say that I think it is okay to have goals and dreams for ourselves, I just don't think that I should be so locked into them that I don't see the opportunities that I have to serve and love others.  To have a purpose driven life is to know that it's not about me...

I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future ♥