I went to bed early last night before nine pm... I've been more tired than usual. I think that comes from having so many things weighing on my mind. It will be good to get some closure on some of these decisions. I didn't sleep well, I think it's because I've finally made a decision and now I have to wait. I almost believe the waiting is worse than the decision. I just want to get it over with... have you ever felt like that?
It seems like every other blog that I read today was about my decision... most of them made me cry. They reminded me of what I'm giving up and how much I want it to be different... this is why I wish I could do it right now... before I change my mind again.
Why do some changes in our lives have to be so painful? I know there isn't an answer for that... it's basically a rhetorical question. I want to understand why I have to feel like I am losing a part of myself, so that I can learn whatever lesson it is that I need to learn? I know that other people are going through far more difficult things than I am going through right now... I know many of these people. Because of this, I want to try to minimize my trials but I realized that even if my trials are no where near as difficult as what other people have to deal with, they are for me.
So I have the right to be upset, apprehensive, nervous... etc. What someone else is going through might not even affect me, that is why I am going through this trial and other people have different trials. What I learned in the last couple of days is that I need to stop measuring my trials against others and stop belittling myself for my feelings, I have a right to those emotions as we all do... I need to stop minimizing feelings.
I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future ♥
It seems like every other blog that I read today was about my decision... most of them made me cry. They reminded me of what I'm giving up and how much I want it to be different... this is why I wish I could do it right now... before I change my mind again.
Why do some changes in our lives have to be so painful? I know there isn't an answer for that... it's basically a rhetorical question. I want to understand why I have to feel like I am losing a part of myself, so that I can learn whatever lesson it is that I need to learn? I know that other people are going through far more difficult things than I am going through right now... I know many of these people. Because of this, I want to try to minimize my trials but I realized that even if my trials are no where near as difficult as what other people have to deal with, they are for me.
So I have the right to be upset, apprehensive, nervous... etc. What someone else is going through might not even affect me, that is why I am going through this trial and other people have different trials. What I learned in the last couple of days is that I need to stop measuring my trials against others and stop belittling myself for my feelings, I have a right to those emotions as we all do... I need to stop minimizing feelings.
I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future ♥
We are human, imperfect, but born to be happy, sometimes life plays tricks on us we do not understand, but everything has a reason ... one because, but everything will be alright in the end!!
ReplyDeleteThank you Luis... I'm holding onto that ;-)
ReplyDeleteDon't minimize your feelings--just go with them. Make your decision and stick to it. Life is too short to hang onto regrets. We have to keep moving forward, which we can't do until we let go of the past....no matter how painful that may be.
ReplyDeleteI think that measuring your own feelings to other peoples' feelings is pointless. Everyone goes through different struggles and they all handle it differently. Yes, what you're going through might not be as bad as what someone else is going through, but they're YOUR struggles. I feel for you, I really do.
ReplyDeleteDon't feel guilty for feeling the way you do...ever!
Thank you Marsha... I know what you say is true, I wish it was easier :/
ReplyDeleteThank you Jaimie, I know you understand and I appreciate the very sweet comment:)
ReplyDeleteI think it's a balance...we can still feel the feeligns we feel whilst also recognizing that things could always be far far worse in life. But you're right, we all have the right to feel how we feel and we shouldn't minimize our own feelings.
ReplyDeleteThank you Keith... I agree it's a balance;-)
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely! What you are feeling is totally valid to you and your situation. It shouldn't be devalued or dismissed by another simply because they don't understand or are unwilling to listen. Good for you to stick up for what you need and how you feel. We all should be so bold.
ReplyDeleteAwe... thank you Joy... I appreciate that you understand :-)
ReplyDeletei like the last quote :) i will accept my present xD
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Awe... thank you Inge... ;-)
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Thank you Mahnoor ;-)
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