Taking A Step Back Can Be Good

I have been wanting to write all day after taking the night off last night.  I had parent teacher night where I met Valentina's new teacher... very sweet, you can tell she loves her students and she adores my Valentina, also she is doing so wonderfully in English and not struggling like she did when she was in French Immersion., so I am happy for her that she is excelling in school now.

I figured I would get up early and write but Cindy my best friend and sitter has been really ill lately and I have had to take Valentina to her house which means leaving at around six am to bus her up there and than me back down and out to work.  Sadly it looks as if Cindy will not be able to continue to care for my Valya, as she is so sick, She and I are going to work on finding someone else.  This is hard though, I want someone that loves Valentina as much as Cindy does and has the same values.

This is going to be so difficult for Cindy, Valentina and me, I always knew how blessed I was to have Cindy, I never ever took her for granted. She is the one that was there for me through all the craziness and supported me no matter how many bad choices I made.  I just want Cindy to be better and without pain.... no one should have to deal with that kind of pain...

So, after work today I had an appointment to cut Valentina's hair, her idea... not mine.  It turned out short but very cute. It will be much more manageable for her and besides her hair grows fast, we had wanted to donate her hair but you need at least ten inches and she only had eight to give.... We are keeping that hair in a pony with a ribbon and then I am going to box frame it.  The hair dresser even thought we had colored her hair because of the amazing natural high lights she has in her hair.  My daughter is nine... I do not color a nine year olds hair.  My oldest daughter Andrea has blonde hair with white blonde streaks that hair dressers always thought we did to her hair, they were always in awe when I explained it was natural.

I then went to buy groceries and I did not get home until after eight pm, I had to put her to bed and then finally could sit down and relax.  I did way too much today and my legs are letting me know it, I plan to rest them tomorrow afternoon as we have one more big activity, her school spring fling.  She loves it and she always has so much fun.

I need to simplify again, I don't like being busy every minute of the day... I want some downtime to rejuvenate me.  When I take a little more on than I can handle, I compensate by doing things like over eating, which is definitely not good for me.  The truth is that if I don't take care of me, no one else will.  I don't want to be a hermit in my house all the time by any means but I do like a night here and there without having to go somewhere after work.

The good thing about aging is that I don't stay in that state where I wear myself too thin trying to be everything to everyone.  It isn't possible, when I find that I am spinning a little out of control, I take a step back and start focusing on what is really important.  Eighty percent of what I think I need done can always wait and it is more than okay for me to say no when I am not capable of taking on one more thing.  I have really come to learn a great respect for someones time, that's one of the reasons if someone is driving me somewhere, I am waiting outside for them.  I don't expect them to wait a minute longer than necessary.. There are times it is good to take a step back and then more forward again.

I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future ♥