Any Future Man Should Consider Himself Lucky

I felt so much better after I wrote my blog post last night about, I Am Me... I Am Not You...  It actually freed me, I just sat there and wrote from my heart and it was easy.  Sometimes I sit here and I write, read it, delete it and start all over again... not last night, the only thing I had to do was proof read it and find quotes.  It just flowed out of me in a way I haven't seen in a while.

Maybe it's because I am so passionate about my David...  whatever the reason... I am grateful that I wrote it down... Mostly I am thankful for the comments that were left on my blog... telling me it was no one's business but mine, you all cared about me and didn't want to see me hurt... I loved all the comments I got.. I know it's not always easy to find time to comment... I feel thankful when the effort is made.

I know my family loves me... they want me to be happy but honestly only I know what will bring me peace an happiness... I have to make my own decisions and mistakes, if I fall, I have to get back up.  Being friends with David is an uncharted course for me... I was very unsure if we could make it happen.  It has been an emotional roller coaster that I was unsure if it would end up making us stronger or break us completely.

 Lately I am seeing it as making us stronger, which brings me joy.  I think if my David and I had dated when we were younger and it didn't work out, we probably would not have stayed friends... I think I needed the maturing that comes with age... at least for me... for me to see the full picture and not the tiny picture that keeps on trying to enter doubt into my mind.  I wanted to clarify something I wrote last night at the end of my post about not wanting to date again... what I really meant is that I don't want to date right now... I have no idea how I will feel in a year or two.

I do know this, any man that wants to be with me will have to put out massive effort to prove he is worth the chance I might take.  I am going to keep the attitude that I had before David and I reconnected... I was seeing a guy for a over a year and one night he told me I was a lucky girl... I said... really?  why would that be... ?  He was younger than me, quite nice looking and in fantastic shape... he pointed out the fact that it was because he was young and nice looking...

I laughed and then I said... oh really?  What does that make you?....   He looked at me, saw I was serious and  took a moment to answer me... The answer he gave back was... I'm a lucky boy... I smiled and said, you're right, you are a lucky boy and don't you ever forget it... he never forgot it... he often mentioned how he was a lucky boy to be seeing me... He ended up moving off to Toronto and I couldn't be happier for him... I guarantee that when he becomes involved with another woman... he will consider himself lucky, blessed and thankful to have her.

That is my attitude for the future... if I am to ever fall in love again... the man should consider himself lucky.  I may not be your drop dead gorgeous woman but I am loyal, kind, loving, sincere and attentive.  In return for knowing that they are lucky, I would make them feel incredibly special.  No one will ever be able to take that from me again... I know my worth now and I won't except less ...

I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future ♥