I Am Going To Re-teach People How To Treat Me

I probably shouldn't post tonight, I am irate... Oooo, I don't like feeling this way but for whatever reason I let some people bring this out in me... Normally I just don't hang around these people but for some people I allow them to frustrate me and get away with it... This is something I need to change... why am I so afraid to stand up to certain people.  I think what I need to get into my head somehow is that if I say what I feel and they don't like it, then so be it... If I don't feel safe enough to say how I am feeling, why are they in my life.

Why do I feel the need to keep people in my life that don't deserve me?  It's like I think so little of myself that I am afraid I will lose those people and I would be lost... REALLY???  How about they would be lost without me?  I wonder if they ever think of that...? Probably not, because they see that no matter what they say or do that I still let them in my life.  I don't have a problem telling a person that is being mean and hurtful to me to move on ... I have problems saying it to others who just say insensitive things without even thinking.  Maybe I should tell them how insensitive they are and let the chips fall where they may.

If they can't understand that they are hurting me, maybe they need to be told... than they can either stop or stay out of my life.  Who wants anyone in their life that doesn't bring them up?  Not me anymore... I don't know what it is in my DNA that I allow anyone to be that way with me.  I try very hard not to be insensitive... I try to think of the other persons feelings. I swear I have a tattoo on my forehead that says... please walk all over me... it is only visible to those people.

My rant is over... instead of continuing to rant... I am going to confront those people and say how I feel... what is the worst thing that could happen?  I could lose them... Oh well, right at this moment, I think I could care less... Ultimately long term they will realize they have lost something even better... ME! I am very faithful, honest, open, caring and loving with my friends... you would think they wanted to be the same way with me... maybe not...

I guess I just needed to say how I felt and now I feel a bit better... I am still going to stand up to those people and tell them they are aggravating me with their insensitivity ... otherwise they might never know.  Besides, like I wrote the other night, any man future or otherwise should feel lucky if I give them a chance... I deserve for someone to feel lucky to have me.  My friends should try to remember this... The saying is true, You Teach People How To Treat You!  

I wanted to end this on a positive note after starting it out with so much frustration...  Today I was able to walk for over 3 miles, I am so pleased with myself... I even have blisters and I don't care, I am going to walk as much as I possibly can... I do need to eat a little more food than I am eating... I am not eating enough... for some reason, the more I walk the less I want to eat which isn't good as I am not even eating the minimum calories and I am expending so much energy, my body will think it is going into starvation mode (which makes me laugh since I am far from starving) However, I understand that my body doesn't get that... it just thinks I am depriving it.

I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future ♥