The Secrets That Bind Us Can Also Break Us

I decided to attempt to fix up my blog last night, all I wanted to do was change up the colors as I realized sometimes it is difficult to read with all the different colors... I had people mention it to me nicely.  I have been wanting to make the changes but believe me when I tell you I am not very technical, don't get me wrong, I LOVE technology... I just get frustrated when I am unable to make things work like they should.

So, I started by going in to change up the colors and for some reason, they would not change, no matter how many times I tried... I was on Facebook at the time and I remembered that Rae had helped me with my blog about a year ago... I sent her a quick message and she was more than willing to help, I had her go in and clear what was there, then she put my heart background and light pink back on... just like that.  Thank you Rae!!! She made it so easy for me to go in and fix up the rest of it...  I even went on to You Tube and learned how to change my cursor... I never would have figured that out on my own.  I will be using You Tube more in the future, how cool and it was simple.  Of course nothing is simple until you learn it...

Eventually I want to have someone do a nice layout for me, before I can do that, I want to be moved and settled into a new place... ever since I decided to move for September, it is all that I can think of... I actually want to get some boxes and start packing away the things I am not using right now... like books and winter items, purging like crazy as I go.  I will need the next couple of months to clear out all the stuff I do not need or use... it will make cleaning this place and unpacking in the new place a lot easier if I can get rid of as much as possible.

What I really need to do is have Valentina find a way of changing her thinking... she has a need to save everything... I mean everything.   I am after her as much as I can but if I don't get after her every single day, the next thing I know, she has saved mounds of items that are useless.  It boggles my mind because I would rather get rid of things we don't need than save it so that I become overwhelmed. If she doesn't learn now that things are not important she will end up being a hoarder... that would be scary.

I had a long talk with my sister tonight, the one who lives in New York state... we hadn't talked for about a month or so, we are both pretty busy and it isn't easy to find the time, so when the time is available we take it and talk for hours.  We have not always been close but we are working on this the past few years, I really think that how we were raised made it difficult for us to be close.  You would think sharing the same secret of childhood abuse would have bonded us but we both reacted to the abuse differently, so it kept us from being the close sisters we might have been otherwise.  It was almost like we were pitted against each other... just another form of abuse.

I am proud of her, she has come a long way... with very little help, she has dealt with difficult issues herself, which is what I think helped us to become close again.  I always thought of my sister Shelly as the pretty one, yet she has had the same difficulties in relationships as we all have had... I came to realize over the years that how we look doesn't make life or relationships any easier... She is dating a very kind and sweet sounding man... I am happy for her... she deserves this after the troubled relationships she has endured. 

I think we all need that kind and gentle person in our lives, the ones that show us we are worth it, we've always been worth it, we just didn't know because it was taken from us as children through the secrets we held of being abused... It might have taken us quite some time to get this back but we never gave up the idea that it was possible.... I told her tonight that even though David and I didn't work out romantically that he was my kind, sweet man who showed me my worth... I'm really grateful that my David came back into my life... sometimes it is sad for me that it didn't work out but for us but ultimately I am very thankful that I have him there... he grounds me when I start to get out of control...

I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future ♥