I didn't get much walking in today... only 30 minutes due to all the waiting around. Tomorrow I am just going to take my walk first thing in the morning, probably an hour to an hour and a half. I need to clear my head and walking does that for me. Also, tomorrow is the last day of school for Valentina, a short day but that will be when I take my walk.
I'm feeling a bit out of sorts today, mainly because I'm used to talking to my 'D' pretty well everyday, it's been a couple of days for me. I just need to hear from him... to know that everything is okay.
I have been so focused on walking and eating healthy that I haven't even realized that I've been pushing my feelings down so that I don't have to deal with them. They are still there, threatening to spill over. It's not like I think I have it all figured out because that's not even possible.
The other day my doctor asked me if I was happy? I was about to give the pat answer that of course I was... but this is my doctor, I have known her for close to 25 years... so I said, no... Isn't it possible that I could stop being sad most of the time? Instead of feeling that I walk and I write... I've already wrote once today and walked... Today it wasn't enough... today I cried...
Today I felt like doing anything but feeling, today I fought the desire to eat or use anything I could think of not to cry... Today I succeeded but what about tomorrow?
First, I'm not the best of friends for leaving comments. Please forgive.
ReplyDeleteSecond, thank you for your honesty, and feelings. It's hard for many of us to grab on to the happiness that we want and to keep it constantly. BUT I do know that when we set out to find the positive, the happy...it is there...but we have to be seeking it. Probably doesn't make sense, but for me...serving others sure puts me in the happiest of places. Love you pretty girl!!! You're an awesome lady and don't you forget it
it's normal :D sometimes i feel so down until i cry but tomorrow is a new day. good things might be happen :D
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I think that the most important thing is never give up, even if it's harder one day we will be winner <3
ReplyDeleteXxx babe
Carolina
www.the-world-c.blogspot.com
Thank you Jackie, it is not always easy to see the good... I am taking it day by day... eventually I will see the good.
ReplyDeleteI do believe service helps our mood :)
Thank you Inge, tomorrow is another day... :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Carolina... I am just going day by day... we will be winners:)
ReplyDeleteDay by day is really all we can do. It's a marathon, not a sprint. But the best days are always ahead :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you Keith... that's true life is a marathon not a sprint ;-)
ReplyDeleteSometimes, the best we can manage is one day at a time. I won't offer you any platitudes about how "the sun will come out tomorrow" (although it will!) but will just say to keep on doing what your doing. Keep on keeping on, and the next thing you know, the worst will be behind you.
ReplyDeleteThank you Susan.. I am waiting for that brighter day ;-)
ReplyDeleteI'm not happy either but I'm not sure I want to be. I keep thinking that if I was happy I would be unhappy because I always need to move forward. I'm never satisfied, always restless, that's just who I am and I'm learning to live with it.
ReplyDelete/Avy
http://mymotherfuckedmickjagger.blogspot.com
♥
Thank you for your comment Avy... I've known true happiness and Joy.... I think that's why I keep searching for it... I know it exists. It's painfully sad to do it though:'(
ReplyDeleteI am learning a lot from you launna...you really are an inspiration..
ReplyDeleteThank you Shafaq... that's SO sweet of you to say ;-)
ReplyDeleteLaunna I love how you always keep inspiring me! :) You're awesome, check this out: http://susanna-behindmyeyes.blogspot.fi/2013/06/blogs-to-check-out.html :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Susanna, I read what you wrote about me... you are always so kind to me... you truly inspire me girl.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear you are feeling sad, but remember it won't always be that way. Everybody has ups and downs. Take each day as it comes. Do the best you can each day.
ReplyDeleteThank you Daisy... I understand the ups and downs... I am trying hard to not have the downs control me for too long... :)
ReplyDelete