Flexibility With Change

So the weather that refused to co operate with Andrea and Paul while they were here for their visit has now showed up.  Today is Saturday and all week this day has been calling for rain, so I planned to finally clean Valentina's room... well lo and behold it is beautiful, hot and sunny... so my plan has changed for this day as I feel it would be better if we went for a walk and went swimming at the lake.  Sometimes we have to be flexible and change our plans, the room will always be there for us to clean, a nice sunny Saturday spent at the lake will not always be there.

Last night when I got home from work I caught up on all my blogs and  then I was going to write but I was so exhausted that I decided to lay down, well that little nap turned into a full night sleep.  My body does get wiped out occasionally, I push it a lot lately.  Between waking it up at 4:00 or 4:30 am from Monday to Friday and then making it walk at least 2 miles every morning... by Friday night my body has had enough and makes the decision to rejuvenate itself by making me get some sleep.. hence why I rarely wake up to an alarm on Saturday mornings.

I do get up at a better time on Saturday, I used to sleep until almost noon but I don't like wasting my whole day off, especially when it is so beautiful outside. I am grateful for all my life changes and for how good all of them are making me feel.  I have more energy than I thought I would ever have, I am able to walk for great periods of time without pain or exhaustion.  I am seeing the results in my body becoming more and more toned each week and I am seeing it on the scales.  Yesterday was weigh in day and I have to admit I was nervous... I know the weight is going to take time to come off, especially since I am almost 50, there are no quick solutions... so I am trying to be realistic about the weight loss.

I hopped on the scale, stood there and didn't look down for a couple of minutes... I knew I had eaten properly and I had definitely put the effort into walking but I wondered if it would reflect on the scales... I finally looked down and saw that I had lost 2.8 pounds, so that is now a total of 17.8 pounds in four weeks and I have to say it feels wonderful.  I even went out and bought a measuring tape after work and finally took my measurements. I will be taking them twice a month, it would have been nice to have them from the beginning but that's okay, I am starting here now. 

I have people telling me that I need to treat myself from time to time... however; I don't think I am depriving myself, so I don't feel the need to treat myself.  Not that I won't ever eat what people consider 'a treat' again as that would be totally unrealistic but for now I want my body to only eat extremely healthy food.  My idea of a treat is having a small non fat frozen yogurt from Yogen Fruz... it has 100 calories and it tastes divine.  I don't feel the need to eat fried foods, chocolate or chips... I want my body to get used to the good food and then have a 'treat' on occasion as it was meant to be. This is a decision for myself and for my family... it isn't something I think everyone has to live by.  This decision is a personal one.

Anyhow, a funny story... I always say good night to my David by texting him... well last night I woke up around 11:30 or so and decided to send him a quick goodnight before I drifted off again... well, I woke up and looked down at my text that I had sent and it said Love you... lol... Okay, I do love him but I don't usually text that to him because we are best friends now... I then sent another quick one to say I actually meant to say goodnight and talk to you soon... Apparently I should never send a text when I am drifting off to sleep, as what is in my heart comes out in the text... Note to myself, only text when I am wide awake going forward.


My David probably didn't know what to think... I rarely say how I feel to him as he has moved on even if my heart has not.  I recognize and understand that he has moved on... apparently my heart does not.   So when I am as exhausted as I was last night, everything spills out and I am not clearly awake enough to keep those thoughts and feelings to myself.  I guess my heart takes over from time to time and finds a way to let my feelings out whether I like it or not... 

I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future ♥