Laughter Is Truly Needed

 

The only thing that matters now is my mission.  Nothing will stand in the way anymore. 

Oh how I have missed blogging, I have not gone this many days in a great long while... I keep wanting to write but I am so busy.  I am continually trying to keep up with the blogs I follow... I may have to give myself a break there once and a while if I am going to get anything else done.  Also, I have ramped up my exercise, I couldn't walk yesterday morning as it was kind of rainy and really damp, I decided to bus it and then use the stationary bike at work... can I say wow... my thighs are feeling it this morning.  Anytime you change your routine up, you can feel it... it just means I am on the right path.... So I biked for 20 minutes before work and sweat like crazy... then I went back and did it again at lunch... I even went an extra mile from morning.

Then I was reading some updates on Facebook and one of the girls in the contest has been walking for the past couple of days... yesterday, she updated that she was going for a 5K, I was like, congratulations... now I need to go for a 5K, lol.  Have I told you that I am highly competitive, just in case you are not aware.  I walked/jogged for just about 3 miles last night... my best time for the length of time I went for.  I am so feeling that in my joints this morning.  What do you think I am going to do today?  I am going to bike this morning and at lunch and if at all possible, I am going to walk tonight, it of course depends on the weather... which is threatening thundershowers.

I also measured myself, so in three weeks, I have lost 3 inches of my hips and 5 inches off my waist... this exercise is so worth it... I can see this weight loss even if I am just wearing my nightgown.  How I wish I had put the two together years ago but I cannot beat myself up for that, I just have to go with it now and be very grateful that I can do this exercise now and that I am thrilled to be eating so healthy these days. I really think for a healthy lifestyle to take hold, I have to be in the right frame of mind... I am hoping I can drop at least 1-2 pounds this week, especially after I lost a big number last week. I just don't want to plateau or gain while I am on the contest... it is only a short 11 weeks, Friday will be the seventh week, with only a four short weeks remaining.

I don't give myself much time to think about anything but exercising and eating healthy, I know I have to give myself time to do other things or this lifestyle won't stick as I cannot continue to only do this and work... that is not what life is about long term..  Yes, I will ALWAYS exercise and truly I want to... I feel better, I feel stronger and I see the benefits but I understand that I cannot do this 7 days a week for the rest of my life.  I talked to a girl at work who dropped a lot of weight and she has made it to her goal weight, she told me now that she is there, she has to work out hard three days a week to maintain... I think three days a week is doable... I am looking forward to be able to do this in about a year or so... until then, it will be 6-7 days a week.

Part of the reason that I don't give myself time to think is because of my David... if I did... I would probably be melancholy... however; the moment I feel that, I go out and exercise until I feel better... love those endorphins.  I remember in the beginning how I thought I had sweat... this past week I have had to peal my clothes off from how hard I have made myself walk/jog/bike...  I can't stay with the same routine, I have to ramp it up a little at a time or it will not be helpful in the long run.  I want so much to talk to my D for more than a few words each day, I miss being able to spill my insides out to him... I love how I can say anything to him and that he still thought I was wonderful.  I haven't had that for so long because of him having to plan a large and detailed exercise and then he had to go out on the exercise... then he was busy writing up about this in great detail.  Finally he went on vacation and now this would be the best time but I am so incredibly busy with exercising that by the time he comes on line, I have to crawl into bed.

The old me would have stayed up until 11 or 12 and talked to him, the me of today is usually off line no later than 10... I am so committed to this that I don't allow myself to stay up as late as I usually did in the past... Besides my body says it has had enough and I usually have no choice in the matter.  One thing though, I really wish I could sleep through the whole night, I am still waking up about every 2-3 hours... I fall right back to sleep but I still wake up... which gives me broken sleep.  I really miss my best friend, I need one of those chats we have where we laugh non stop for an hour, that's what we do... we talk a mile a minute and we never lack for words and the laughter is unbelievable... I haven't been able to really let go for a while... I have been holding in a lot which I know isn't always good long term... I just don't want to get off track while I am on this contest... I so need to be focused.

I keep telling myself that in September I will be able to give myself a night a week but then I will be training for the 5K that I am going to run in October... I will have to really focus on that.  I think I will just have to take that me time and talk to my best friend so that I don't let everything pile up and then spill over... maybe not in a good way... I need to be healthy about this.  I don't want to be back at square one, I love the new committed me, I am loving all the changes I have made and I love the path I am on... I want to stay here and continue on to see how far I can make it down this path.

I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future ♥