I Endeavor To Succeed

The only thing that matters now is my mission.  Nothing will stand in the way anymore. 

I have been missing writing so much but it has been good for me to take the break, first thing... I got my house pretty well tidied up.  My babysitter, Valentina and I took everything of Valentina's out of the rest of the rooms and put it all in her room. Then her father came over on Saturday and they cleaned her room together.  It looks so much more liveable... however; I have to be on her every single day that she needs to take some time before she goes to bed and just straighten up a bit.  Eventually she will get the hang of it, I hope... otherwise I will have no voice from repeating myself over and over.  I need to keep it semi organized so that I will have people come help me pack once I find a new place to live.  It doesn't look like I will have anywhere to move in September... looking for October now.

That is okay with me as I am so busy with walking/biking/jogging until the end of this month. Did I just say until the end of the month... I am going to be continuing it long after the end of this month but I will allow more time at the end of this month for apartment hunting.  I want to win this contest and I have to give my all to it, that means exercising as much as I possibly can without causing any injuries. Believe me, if I feel like I have overdone it, I take a break and allow my legs to rest.  Today was one of those days, it is a civic holiday in Halifax, I slept in and allowed my legs to get as much rest as I could... then a friend of mine called me to see if I wanted to walk the annual bridge walk.  Once she asked I jumped at the chance.

I met up with her by her house and we walked downtown together and across the bridge.  I took a quick break to get some water and then we headed back over the bridge again.  Our bridge is not a straight one, it is one that ships are able to go under, as our harbor is a very busy one.  Lots of people were walking and running over the bridge, I felt great because of the rest I took for my legs and I passed many people who were walking, I wanted to really give myself a good workout today as it is day one for me to start training for my 5K.  I didn't run today as I am going to find a flat area to run on, which I think will be the Halifax Commons until I feel more comfortable with running.

I am working myself up to being able to walk/run the 5K in October, I want to have a pretty decent time... I will be timing myself over the next 8 weeks.  I know that once I actually do the run, I will be competitive, I am so tenacious that way.  I will run... that is why I want to really put a lot into this training. I already know I can walk a 5K as I have done this regularly... however; I want to be able to run some of it... So that definitely means really training.

Next I was able to talk with my David last week, we talked for nearly an hour and a half... it was good, really good.  I told him how I felt we had been drifting apart as friends the past six weeks or so and he agreed, I also told him I knew why... I knew he was seeing someone and that it was hard for him to talk with me without letting something slip and hurting me in the process... so it was easier for him not to talk to me.  He said yes, he felt like he had to be on guard... I told him that I wanted to be a big girl about this and that if he wanted to talk about her that I was going to deal with it... He didn't go into any detail but he admitted that it would be easier for us.  I also admitted that I still have feelings for him... as if he didn't already know that but that I understood he didn't have those feelings.

He won't be home for Christmas as he had planned, so I told him I will be visiting him in March or April... probably more like April.  He laughed and said there was nothing in Wainwright... I told him I wasn't going to see Wainwright, I was going to see him.  I told him when I had my tickets I would let him know and he agreed to pick me up in Edmonton... it is two and half hours each way to pick me up but he agreed that he would do this.  I need to see him, even if we are only friends... I need to be able to sit uninterrupted and talk... the way we did when he was home.  We literally sat for hours in the evening just talking about everything and anything.  Conversation with us never lacked... nothing lacked with us, everything was simple... nothing was complicated.

I am happy we talked, I needed to be able to tell him how important he was to me, even though I am sure he is well aware of it... although being friends is very difficult at times, I could never imagine it otherwise.  I have often thought over the past year and a half or so that I should end our friendship but deep down I know that would break my heart even more.  He is the one person I can tell anything to, he never judges me, he really listens.  I would do the same for him... so if it means being a big girl and hearing about whoever he might be dating at the time, I will handle that... he is my best friend and I honestly don't want to lose him.

I have missed all my blogs that I follow, I will be catching up slowly with all you... I will read them all but I may not comment on all of them.  I still have this contest to win, which by the way, I have now lost 26.2 pounds in 7 weeks, just 4 more weeks to the end of the contest.  I am really working hard, I am feeling stronger each day and I know that with each day that passes, I am going to succeed fully in whatever endeavors I put my efforts into...  This past 7 weeks has shown me that I am so much stronger than I thought I was and this past week has proven it even more. 

 

I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future ♥