Sweeping It Under The Rug

The only thing that matters now is my mission.  Nothing will stand in the way anymore.  

This upcoming week is going to be insane. I don't know how I am going to keep it all together... My sister from New York state is in town until Friday, so I will want to see her. The final weigh in for the contest is Friday morning, so I will want to walk a lot. I have two physio appointments, a family dinner and I promised to get Valentina's ears pierced.  As well, I have regular cleaning such as dishes, laundry and sweeping... etc..

All of this with working full time and I am emotional... geesh. I know why I am emotional, I am just trying to sweep it under the rug until Friday when I will have time to deal with it.... I hope... I started feeling stressed when I realized I just don't have time to write this week, unless I give up sleep, which I don't advocate for me... However; I gave up a little sleep last night in hopes that it will be enough to tide me over until Friday... otherwise I might have a melt down. I know life is about balance but sometimes it is pretty hard to keep that balance when everything is being thrown at me from all sides.

I need to get through this week, spend time with my sister, walk as much as I can, win the contest and then deal with the issue under the rug. I'm afraid of that issue but I don't have the time or emotions to handle it right now; if I let myself think about it I cry... so I try not to let myself think about it.

I really pushed myself with my sister with walking yesterday, we walked over the bridge and back (1.3 miles each way) and we were able to maintain an average 15.15 minute mile. She challenged me, she looked like she barely broke a sweat, she could talk... I could not. She is in great shape as she has always exercised over the years where I have not... A good wake up call for me. Now that I know I can walk a mile in that time, I want to push myself to get there as much as possible... not every time but as much as possible...

Valentina and I are in need of mama/daughter time, which we will do tonight when I take her out to get her ears pierced ... next weekend will be about her and I as school is back in on Tuesday September 3rd... I took the day off so I could take her. I just want to help her get organized for the first day and I want her to feel special.  Starting out in the higher grades are scary, she is going into grade 5 and children are very clicky... I am trying to instill in her now that these children and their ideas are not important in the long run but it is really hard to get that through to your children as it feels all to real to them.

I have been so busy with exercising, I have had little time for anything else... hence why I swept some things under the rug... by doing this though, I have seen how emotional it makes me.. just a strong reminder that I have to deal with these issues as they happen... no matter how much I don't want to... no matter how afraid I am... There I go, crying again... If there is anything I have learned in the past two years is that burying anything just means it comes back bigger and more difficult to deal with... fearing the outcome is not a good enough reason to ignore it but time constraints are a good enough reason to at least hold off...

I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future ♥