My First Successful 5K

The only thing that matters now is my mission.  Nothing will stand in the way anymore.

I walked/jogged my 5K, I competed and interestingly enough, I competed with me.  It is good to be in a group with other people but ultimately we compete with ourselves.  I felt free while jogging, feeling like I could go on forever but because I never put enough training in for this, I wouldn't allow myself to just keep going.   Eventually I will be able to jog a whole one and that is what I am committed to learning for the Spring.  I had a great deal to overcome in a very short time, I had to quit smoking, I had to lose over 50 pounds (53 to be exact) I still have another 35 pounds I want to take off.

Hear me and hear me now, I will not be too skinny, I will be 20 to 25 pounds over what doctors, Weight Watchers and such think I should be. If I were to go down to what they think is right for me, then I would be too thin.  I have NO desire to be too thin, I LOVE my curves, I love that I am shaped like a woman. I will have a bigger booty than most with a smaller waist, I am more than okay with that.  I have absolutely no desire to get down to a size 4-6-8... Not because I can't but because I don't want to, I would lose what I love most about my body, my curves.

So, I will be happy with a size 10-12-14 and I will look just fine and I will be healthy. Healthy because I will continue to exercise 5-6 days per week, I will do fun things like strength training, Zumba and I am looking into salsa dancing... Eventually I want to swim, once I tone some of my body up.  That will come with strength training. and some time.  I am 100% committed to really getting into shape.

So for my 5K, I completed it in 44:10 minutes, I was hoping to do it under 46:00 minutes, I did and I beat it by nearly 2 minutes.  That was wonderful.... Of course others did this in under 30 minutes and one day with training, I will be able to do that as well.  I have to learn how to breathe when I am running/jogging and I have to believe I can continue and not have a heart attack... lol.  When it was all done, I averaged a mile at 14.09 per minute... all I can say is WOW... so much better than I thought I was capable of... that is why I know I can and will get better.  I believe in myself and I have Faith that I will only get better.

I used this walk/jog to work out an issue that has been on my mind... I have been angry, sad, despondent, afraid, ticked beyond belief... What I am going to say here won't be enough but know that I plan to direct it to the right person, they need to know.  There was a breach in trust and when it all went down, it devastated me, made me feel that deep down, the trust I had with a person was only one sided... Otherwise you don't hide things from someone you trust and you don't blindside them.  Trust is about being there for someone, no matter what.  I have not changed that, I will be there for them... I will show them what trust really is.  Yes I am mad/angry and disappointed but this person will learn in time that they are the ones that had the lack of trust... it was never me... I was always there, as I always will be...

I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future ♥