The Easier Path Is Always There

The only thing that matters now is my mission.  Nothing will stand in the way anymore.

Have you ever been so sad, frustrated or just feeling out of control?  It's not the best way to feel, I just said one of my new motto's, 'I'm done' ... what does this mean?  It means I am done with feeling this way and one way is changing some of those things that bring out those emotions.  Just keeping what is good, this week has been lax due to my not getting any sleep.  I had to go to great measures but I finally got a couple of good nights.   I had to turn off all electronics and I signed out of everything so that I couldn't just start surfing when my mind would start racing with thoughts.

Now since I finally had two decent nights together I can see things more clearly, I was so in the middle of the feelings that Monday night I was going up and down with moods as I had not slept in weeks properly.  I didn't exercise much last week, I felt the excuses coming on and they won out for most of the week... That is going to change, Monday I am back out with strength training, walking and swimming, at least three days of strength training, three of walking and two of swimming.  That way I will be out to the center 5 nights per week, Saturday will be for relaxing, cleaning, grocery shopping.. Sunday for church and lots of rest.

I have to focus on something and it might as well be my weight loss journey, I am sure it will take a fair bit long to get the last 25 pounds off, I am still very dedicated but now I am looking forward to becoming stronger and firmer... I love my body now but it will even look better once I tone it up some, losing the weight gave me a self confidence that I had unknowingly lacked.  Now people act differently with me and I think it is funny strange... I don't play their game.  If I am to ever date again, it will be iffy as I am not out actively pursuing  it, however; I did leave my profile up on the dating site.  So if some man wants to work hard and prove he is worth my time... I might give him a chance....

I am very busy, I don't have time to waste on guys that just come and go, if they are worth it they will realize I am worth it too... otherwise I am not willing to put in the time without seeing effort on their part.  It also means changing some other aspects, I am going to have to make a goal of writing for an hour each day, I am starting a second private blog It's where I will be able to write whatever I like, then can start organizing it into a book.  I am going to focus on the weight loss aspect but other things will be brought into it because issues in my life got me to the point I wanted to do something about my weight through both food and exercise.

The biggest point I want to get out there is that age means nothing at all, once you make the decision to get healthy it is  possible... you just have to become dedicated to yourself.  That's not a bad thing, if not our own selves then who? There isn't anyone that can get us to work out but us... I miss that commitment I had in the beginning, I have kept up but not to that degree.  That's why I am making some new changes this week. I have two paths in front of me, one looks easier than the other... I decided to take the more challenging path, the easier one is always there...