Inspiration With New Possiblites

I've been inspired to write a letter a week about different parts of my life for one year.  Different events and people that changed my life, either good or bad.  Different life lessons I've learned... I was getting overwhelmed with how to start my book and this came to me.

I write better in letters, I think some of them will be lengthy... some shorter.  I feel so ready to write... I even have certain events... starting with my weight loss... back to the fire... a book from the present to the past, I want to start out with the weight loss and how I gained my life back by deciding to love myself enough to really believe I deserved to be healthy and active, I am after all just 50.  When I set out to lose the weight, I had no idea how much self esteem and self worth I would gain.

I hope that it is able to inspire other people, especially people at my age who think that it's impossible, nothing is impossible... only what our brain limits us to, I no longer want to be limited like I was in the past.  As you all know I have been dealing with some difficult challenges, one of them has come to a conclusion and frankly as much as I thought in the past that I would fall apart, I think I was numb when that challenge came along.  The end result came quickly and I easily let it pass.  The other trial is not one I can just say oh well, I somehow have to figure out how to make that one right.  Someone asked me how long I would wait to see it right, I said for the rest of my life.

That doesn't mean that I am not going to live, I have the other 20 pounds I want to lose, I am going to complete my PCP by the summer and then I have a really big idea of something I want to do but that is down the road.  Oh and I am going on a date on Saturday, he seems sweet.. he's been a gentlemen ... my side that has a hard time trusting wonders if he might be too good to be true.  Anyhow, I will find out Saturday, I am tentatively hoping he is as nice as he is coming off.  I think it will be great to be attracted to someone again, for the past two years I have not been the least bit interested... I think my heart had to have time to heal a little.

I'm still not sure I am ready to love yet but I will never know if I don't try... My heart is leery but this guy has kind of peaked my interest ... which is new to me.  Anyhow, I am taking my time, meeting him for a hot chocolate and talking, then go from there.  So, I am not living in the past and I most definitely don't have my head in the clouds about my future, I am living today... making goals and working on things, I see a lot of improvement.  I am grateful to have some goals and getting my passion back ... I had lacked that part of me for a long time. 

I hope everyone is in the festive mood and getting their last minute things done so that you can enjoy Christmas with your family and friends.  I am getting there, I will just take a couple nights next week and get it all done, I am looking forward to relaxing and watching Christmas shows and movies with Valentina, it is just not Christmas until I have watched it's a Wonderful Life, Miracle on 34th Street and How the Grinch Stole Christmas... plus we have had snow, so it looks like it might even be a white one. I had planned to read my blogs tonight but that will have to wait until tomorrow when I am a bit more refreshed, I had an hour and half chat with the guy I am meeting on Saturday.. so now it is time for sleep.