I'm Very Much In Like

Well, I'm certainly in like with 'him'... our cheeks hurt from smiling and laughing.  He thought I was pretty special... so far he's very sweet.  I don't like dating sites but at the moment I'm glad I didn't delete my profile... I would have missed out on meeting a really nice man.  Since he doesn't live close by we are going to date long distance for now.  Both of us are opened to new possibilities but taking it slow.  We are meeting up today before he heads back home, he's going to come back down over the weekend too.

He thanked me for being me... awe it seems 'he' knows my worth... he told me I had him at 'hello'... haha, cheesy I know but SO cute.  I really like that he can carry on a conversation with me, that's saying a lot... I can talk quite a bit... ah okay a lot.... he held his own with me.  It's nice to have something to look forward to.... I haven't had that for such a long time, it feels good.  2013 took important things from me but 2014 looks like I am getting some of them back ... with whipped cream on top.

I will always think of 2013 as the year of loss... the only good loss was the weight loss ... then another loss I am handling ... but the other loss will always be sad... I believe everything comes full circle and one day I will have answers to my questions of why...?  For today I am opening my heart... as scary as that is... I was pretty sure I didn't want to do that again when my heart was broken more than it has ever been broken in my life.  I probably will never be able to be that open again... it hurts much more than any words I have.

Today is a new day though... it is time to embrace that change I said I was going to do this year.  It didn't mean that I wouldn't be afraid, nervous or scared, it meant I would dive in and embrace it.  It will be the only way I can move forward... Like I have said many times, I love my mom but I do not want to be like her when it comes to relationships.  I am going to allow myself to be open to each new opportunity that arises, I will not let the fear hold me back any longer...

Here's to 2014 clearing the ghosts of 2013... may I look back one day and find that maybe 2013 was the year I needed to get through to the next chapter of my life... maybe 'he' is the next chapter, time will tell.