Riding The Wave Of Life

I remember a time I never doubted myself and the path I was on... I knew each time that when challenges came along that I all I had to do was ride out the wave and the answer would be there eventually.  I had a day in March 2008 which was one horrible incident after the other, throughout the whole day I smiled and took the challenges for what they were... to show me where I really should be going, within six months my life changed drastically.  Lately I have been wondering if I will ever recognize the path where I should be on or the answers it will give? 

I sometimes get a glimpse of the path and then it seems to disappear before I get there and I am left standing to wonder if I actually saw it or if it was all an illusion?  When you are shaken to the core in everything that you believe... becoming steady again even when it is calm is not easy.  It's like I doubt that the steady time will last before the next challenge is there for me to handle, lately I have been dealing with one thing... then another one would be delivered on my plate before I got through the first one, I started juggling them... eventually they fall, so it is much better to have the time in between to deal with them... I guess it is true that life is about learning to dance in the rain...

I know that sometimes there are trials that come into our lives that are meant to shake us up to where we become unsure but I also know that if we believe it is something that will pass, eventually along the path we will recognize the reason why we had to deal with that challenge.  For me, I just don't know the reason and because I don't know, it means I haven't been able to get back to where I should be. I feel like I have been floating in the wind... kind of like a butterfly that never stays put too long... instead I flit from here to there and I never seem to get to where I should be going. 

 

I had a thought tonight that made me very reflective of how I see people, more like how I want to see them than to actually see them as they truly are (I see that I have done this a few times in my life)... I realized that the unforgiving and judgmental attitudes were always there from the beginning, I failed to see past what I wanted to see... which makes me melancholy... I know that even though I have forgiven things, my forgiveness might not come ... I only have past behavior to think this, unless there is a great change somewhere, I will have to deal with that insight I gained and possibly one day, count myself lucky ...  Until then I will just ride the wave.

Follow along!
Facebook //  Twitter //  Google Plus //  Bloglovin //  Instagram //  Pinterest //