Challenges Are Worth The Pain

This has been a bit of a frustrating week for me... my walking and eating have been great and I feel on track with that... but other things have been frustrating. My main issue is my long travel times getting back and forth to work, which have been at least 90 minutes or more each way. I am at the mercy of our transit system that apparently has no clue how to schedule the buses. I have heard they are doing a total revamp but not until sometime in May or even later...  so I will just have to continue on the way I am until then.

I am weighing all my options as I cannot count on our transit system to get it together and actually work the way it should. I am beginning to think there is a reason why I am having to deal with all of this... I remember something Oprah either said or was quoting someone about how we are sent whispers, then taps, then bricks and finally the whole wall falls on us if we don't listen. I personally don't want the whole wall falling on me to make the changes I need to make.

I think we and when I say we... I am talking more about myself... when I have a huge change in front of me, the first thing I do is say no, I don't need anymore change right now... I'm good the way I am... but that is not growth. Typically I turn it around quickly and go with the change since it usually ends up being better for me even if it isn't always easy getting there. Actually it is never easy getting there but it always ends up that it is exactly where I am supposed to be...

I get into a comfort zone and think I can stay there and life will move along the way it is supposed to... yet I know logically that staying in my comfort zone won't help me get to the next level. I also have thoughts that I shouldn't have to go through anymore challenges, haven't I had enough? Silly, I know... that is not the way life is... everyone has challenges, no one is exempt, even if I look at their lives and think they have it all together it just means they are good at hiding their challenges.

This became openly apparent to me when I realized that the person that had done everything she could do to discredit me and hurt me was still trying to do this... it made me think about how her life 'seems' to be what she says she wants it to be... she proclaims how happy she is... yet if she was, why does she feel the need to keep trying to hurt me? That is a contradiction to what she is putting out there... that was a bit of an ah ha moment for me. It just looks like her life is wonderful without any crazy challenges like mine but she has ones that are inside.

I will keep my own challenges and deal with them one by one... at least I don't have the desire to lie and hurt other people and then pretend everything is okay... I actually will wish her happiness and peace, maybe if she can feel that she will stop attempting to hurt me... although she won't be successful as I have moved on from her... hopefully she can move on from me.

So, with my ah ha moments, I know that is the tap... I already had the whispers and ignored them... I don't want the brick or the wall falling on me... that means making some huge changes... scary ones where I will basically jump and build my wings on the way down... those are never easy but I guess if they were, they wouldn't be worth it ... Right?

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