Loving Myself For Who I Fought To Become

This has been a really busy week, more busy than normal, hence why it has taken me a little longer to write than usual. At the moment we are in the midst of massive snow storm here in Nova Scotia, so I decided to just relax and write. Just in case the power decides to go out, which it may because of the high winds. This storm has been talked about for days and I took the opportunity to get prepared, I spent yesterday, shopping, doing all the laundry, dishes, cooking and cleaning.... it feels good that I am organized and cleaned up.

As everyone knows who reads my blog, I have decided to come out of my comfort zone on many levels. The first thing I did was I attended a Valentine dance on Friday night, yes I knew people that were there but I did not go with anyone, I went on my own. I had some fun and danced a little, I just don't want to be the girl who comes home on Friday night and does nothing... That is not fun to me, that will not help me to move forward... I needed to make some changes and I am grateful I have.

I am also not a girl who likes having my picture taken, believe me I have been known to flip out if someone takes my picture and I am not ready... as well I always want to have the last say to which ones are shown. I used to be so adept at ducking pictures ... I have ones at work where you can only see my hair... lol... and never a full length picture. Finally, I have changed that part of myself and I am allowing more pictures to be taken, even though I am not at what I consider to be my 'perfect' weight. I decided that if I waited for that, I might never have my picture taken. I want my children and grandchildren to have memories of me that they can see.

I love that first quote I added above about loving the person I have become as I fought hard to  become her. A few short years ago I never would have posed for a full length picture and I most certainly never would have posted it on line... This has been quite the journey I have been on, it all started with me making the decision to change what I was not happy about and sticking with it. Of course there are days I stray as I am human but I won't allow myself to ever give up on me again. I am worthy of the hard work I have put in and I will continue to do this for me.

This last quote resonated with me as it is very true, we are all more alike than we realize... we have our differences that make us unique but truthfully we all have had tragedies, love, happiness, sadness... Sometimes it is hard to see that we have had good when we feel like the hard times outweigh them. Do you know what writing has done for me? It makes me see that I have had some incredibly wonderful and happy times in my life and I know I will again... Of course hard times will come again and I hope that by writing about how I deal with or have dealt with them in the past... it will help me to overcome them with a better outlook.

When I first started writing back in July 2009, I never believed so many people would read my words... I wrote more for myself as I had lost me and I wanted to change that, the road was long and it was pretty difficult. There were times I wondered if I would make it through but I have and I changed so many things that I never even thought I could. That is why I continue to write, I know that by writing I have grown beyond anything I ever thought possible, I have come to know so many people in the world and saw just how alike we really are, how much we want to be accepted for who we are and mostly how much we want to be loved, no matter how many mistakes we make. 

I hope we all remember that first quote about loving the person we have become because we fought to become him or her... 

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