The Choice To Numb It Or Feel It

I have to say I have been wanting to write for the past couple of days and there seemed like one thing after another that came up. Saturday I spent at a conference, it was very good and something that I am grateful I attended. It was about wellness in all forms... I think we all need to hear more about how to care for ourselves better. So then when I got home that night I needed to do laundry as I had been neglecting it due to the vast amount of exercise I have been doing. 

 

Then Sunday came around and I went to church, caught up on many of my blogs and then took a 5 mile walk with a friend. I was quite wiped out by the time I got back. You'd think I would have been able to sleep... but no... I am still waking up 3 to 5 times per night. It doesn't even seem to matter that I am eating great and exercising nearly every single day... Oh well, I am sure I will be able to sleep through a full night one of these days. 

Just a quick update with my exercise, I am still going strong, I walked over 40 miles last week, I do feel better for it, as well I was able to drop some of the weight I had gained in July. Although I do want to lose pounds, it is not the most important thing, getting healthy by exercising daily and eating consciously is my main focus... everything else can and will follow. What I really want to gain from keeping my lifestyle changes is being healthy emotionally. 

This past week has been a reflective one, I was thinking about what I wrote last week wondering if I really meant it...?  Then I remembered a quote about how we just need to fake it until we make it... I also realize that the longer I stay away from attempting to date, the harder it will be to go back. I can be a girl of excuses but I don't want to be her anymore... that girl with all the excuses was in a difficult place, one I never thought I would rise from.

Yet I did rise, and even though I am not completely hopeful that love will ever come my way, I know that if I don't put myself out there, it more than likely won't happen. Also a good friend reminded me that all I have to do is look back and see how far I have come... Difficult challenges are going to come, I know there are people that have dealt with trials I have no idea how they made it through, each day I am inspired with how they have overcome something and grown beyond what they thought they could ever have dealt with.

 

Remember that saying that Heavenly Father will not give us more than we can handle...? I was reminded that wasn't true, he actually gives us a little more so that we stretch and grow. The real question is if we want to grow...?  If we don't want to, we have the choice to give into the pain... however; I am here to say that numbing the pain only lasts so long, eventually we all have to deal with it... I know from personal experience that most times dealing with the pain, isn't nearly as bad as numbing it...

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