I Need To Stop Fearing The Answer

I've been in an off mood this past week, I wasn't even sure why... tonight it came to me, although I love the Fall season, I am literally unhappy that Winter will be following. I cannot think of any real redeeming qualities of that season. The only one that even remotely comes to mind is that it makes me appreciate every other season that follows it much more... I don't like being house bound, nor wearing so many clothes I feel like a snowman, or fearing the ice that could have me fall and hurt myself.

Until a couple of weeks ago, I wasn't even allowing myself to think about it but with the cool air reminding me that it's not too far off and seeing the year flying by at the speed of light has brought last years memories back. I honestly thought of moving somewhere, anywhere, as long as there was not massive ice there. I know that all places have their downfalls, nowhere is perfect and for the most part I do enjoy living where there are four seasons... just not where one of the seasons drags on for more months than I care to think about. 
When this time of the year comes, with the time change, less daylight... less chance to enjoy the outdoors, it leaves me edgy. I already miss that I could take off at 9:00 at night and walk for an hour... I especially miss that I didn't need any sort of jacket. I need to be able to just get up and go, it always clears my mind and when I can't I feel muddled... which leaves me off balance, if that makes any sense. This week I was eating food that I normally wouldn't eat, I realized it was my way of not dealing with a question I have, one I don't want to hear the answer to... Last night I reminded myself that not dealing with it would only cause other issues, eating poorly isn't the answer.

Finding out the answer whether I want to hear it or not is the only way to deal with it... because although I am still exercising a lot, I know that I cannot exercise my way out of a bad diet. Thankfully, I don't allow myself to stay in that place of denial like I used to, although I fear the answer I don't want to fear it enough to give up what I have worked so hard to attain. Besides, although I don't want to hear the answer, it probably isn't as awful as I think, it rarely is, right...?
I'm struggling right now, most people don't want to hear that and I understand, I think it's because most of us are struggling and we want to hear good and uplifting things so that we can believe that there is a way through. Well, even though I am struggling I do believe that it will get better because it always has... however; I still have to go through low, challenging trials where I have to put in the work to get to where I want to be...

Though I know change is inevitable and ultimately good for me, it still isn't easy to see the good that will eventually come from it... Today as I spoke with some friends, I was reminded that all those difficulties and challenges that I dealt with in the past taught me strength and empathy... maybe the question I have been afraid to ask is the very thing that will make me stronger when I am finally willing to accept the answer I fear...
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86 comments :

  1. Based on the climate change there will be many changes in our body too. It is difficult to manage both. As you said i also don't like to wear more clothes. I feel it so heavy. Need to be free and enjoy things. Have a nice time and take care of your health too!

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  2. I don't blame you, Launna, for dreading the winter season. When I lived in New England I liked winter up until Christmas, that was nice, but then it just dragged on and on for another few months and all that snow and ice! I am definitely more of a moderate climate person and even though we can get a lot of rain here in the Pacific Northwest (not this year though) I don't mind that at all. I can still walk in the rain and the temps never go that low, either. Alas, we can't change the weather, it is what it is. Reading your post I am reminded how people used to just accept that things slowed down in the winter, it's a cocooning of sorts and even a weight gain would be a given part of that. You'd just lose it as you get more active again in the spring time.

    I am not sure what your question is but I know that feeling too well, when we don't want to articulate a question because deep down we worry about our ability to handle the true answer. But I get the sense that you have grown so much in the last couple of years that you also know deep down that you CAN handle whatever the answer is. And once you are looking that answer straight into the eyes you will probably realize that it's never as bad as you feared.

    "All we have to fear is fear itself" Winston Churchill

    You are strong my friend! xo

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  3. I agree with your friends. You always become stronger. Winter is a sad seasond. What I really dislike is the few daylight hours. It's a bit depressing. Have a wonderful week, Launna!

    Jasmine ♥♥♥

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  4. Really interesting post, dear!
    Have a nice week!
    Angela Donava
    http://www.lookbooks.fr/

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  5. True :) ,i really love and also need the fantastic Quotes!

    Lots of Hugs Launna, have a great Sunday <3

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  6. Hello my dear Launna!! It's been so so so so so long, and there is just so so much to update you about what has been happening in my life. But first of all, how have you been? From your post, I can sense that you've been really stressed up. I feel you Launna. I,too, have been through the same phase, maybe simultaneously when you were going through it. Please do not be so harsh on yourself...be a little gentle, dear. I know it's not as easy as it seems :/ Just know that im always here for you. And thank you so much launna for being ever so patient with me. I truly appreciate that. Thank you, and please know that you were being missed so so much!!

    http://anshul90.com

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  7. Praying for you, that you'll get guidance in your questioning and strength to handle the answer.

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  8. you do have to become stronger, and continue to hold, so that you can handle the answer ...

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  9. I live in a country that has just two seasons - hot and hotter. There is ample sunshine but no shade. I would do anything right now for a bit of rain and even snow. Even if I love the winters I understand the fact that anything too harsh is unlikeable.

    I dont know what your question is but I know the feeling very well and I am a good one to shy away from asking or probing any such questions. I generally push it inside a cupboard and slam it up with boards. Thats not the way to deal with issues and I know it, yet I cant seem to learn.

    I really admire your courage.

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  10. Mindful meditation Has been helpful for me. I took a Coursera course on Meditation from the University of Virginia and it was time well spent.
    Since then I've read several books on the subject to further my understanding. The movement flowed from Buddhism but many in the west focus on mainly on the meditation. I feel lik the experience has been beneficial for me.
    R

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  11. I do know where you are coming from..oh, the ice in the drive way. The sidewalks..the cold brittle temps. I'd say, a lot of walking or jogging in place in front of the TV on these long winter nights. Of course, then comes all the cozy potlucks at work and holidays. Yikes! But I feel sure you will use your ingenuity and persevere. I would reward yourself with a manicure/pedicure..at least learn to do those things yourself. Hang in there. You've come so far..keep going!

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  12. I always have questions in my mind, and deep down I know the answer, but I don't like it, so I keep the questions to myself. I hope you find the answers you want and need to your questions soon. This was such a beautiful post you wrote, I love your writing. But I'm sorry that you can't just up and out on a walk any more. It kind of sounds like the season is trapping you. I wish that you could feel free. Sending you much love, Launna <3 Take care xoxo

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  13. I don't love winter, so depressing... but, you do have to become stronger Launna!!!!!
    Btw, this is such a lovely read, as usual!!!
    Kisses, Paola.

    Expressyourself

    My Facebook

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  14. I feel about summer the way you feel about winter. The heat melts me. Ugh. But I love snow and cold air, hot baths and hot chocolate. I also do not have to drive in snow or shovel it.

    A daylight spectrum lamp might be helpful to you in the evenings. I have one at my easel and one on my nightstand and they really do help.

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  15. Launna you're a body of wisdom. Every words that you write makes so much sense and makes one realise how true it is! There is always a struggle in life but the end result of the struggle is what makes everything so sweet!
    Xx,
    Nilu Yuleena
    BIG hair LOUD mouth

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  16. I relate soooo much to that daunting question... I know exactly what it feels like to be in that position... but I use the logic of it's better to know and know for sure... so I allow logic to overpower emotion, hope for the best...and go from there...

    Good post!


    Amber
    All the Cute
    Today's Post: Annapolis Outfit: Tunic Tee & Fold-Over Booties

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  17. I can understand you Luanna, I don't like so much winter season too (even if here in Rome is pretty temperate and still pretty far away), but I think we'd learn to deal with issues and find the way to enjoy them!
    This is a challenge, I know, but you passed through so much and you are stronger now, I bet you can overcome it! ;)
    xxx
    S
    http://s-fashion-avenue.blogspot.it

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  18. I love the post dear! Have a nice day:)

    irenethayer.com

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  19. The winter here in BC is very mild so I don't really know the pain of real Canadian winter but I'm sorry that you're already dreading winter. I can only imagine how dreadful it is when you have to cut down or completely stop what you love which is exercising and walking. I know it's not quite the same but have you considered getting a treadmill? They are pricey but a pre-loved one might be cheaper and you can still get your exercise in. xx

    Shireen | Reflection of Sanity

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  20. Hi my sweet Launna,
    I agree with your friends. In my opinion: You're a strong woman.
    I undertand you, because i hate winter... but the life is so beautiful.
    Kisses
    Maggie Dallospedale Fashion diary - Fashion blog

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  21. I am sorry you are struggling and I do hope the answer will at least bring some peace of mind. Never give up walking -- you give me incentive! But you're right that you can't exercise your way out of a bad diet.

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  22. Hi dear Launna I'm so sorry for not be able to replied of your last dropped at mine but thank you so much for checked on me:). Yes, welcome to my club , struggle is what I'm dealing with it today. Boy oh boy:) working full time job and full time time mom even more struggling :) also try to catch ups with blog:). I bet you are too?!!!! I hope you're doing better than the past months:). I hope you're walking is fine with the weather today:) at least no snow on the ground yet:). Please welcome to stopping by any time Launna. Always happy to see to you there:).

    Oxoxoxox
    Tanya
    http://attraction2fashion.com

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  23. Que postagem maravilhosa amei, tenha uma semana abençoada.
    Canal:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgeQXJjUpSQ
    Blog: http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br

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  24. I am with you and completely agree about not looking forward to winter. It is always a struggle for me to get through that season. The best thing I can think about winter is that spring comes after it.

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  25. This is such a lovely post,
    i adore your style so much!
    Keep up that great style
    with love your AMELY ROSE

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  26. I don't enjoy the winter either. I find it so much easier to make excuses not to work out in the colder months. Chin up dear. Sending you love and support x

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  27. I feel sad when I hear that people don't like the winter or that it gives them the 'blues'. I have always loved the winter. No, I don't like walking in slippery conditions and I don't like 'deep freeze' temperatures like minus 30, but I love the snow, the warmth, Christmas, goodwill, the decorations, the lights, the time spent with family and friends. Sending you a big hug.

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  28. Speaking with friends can do miracles and make us more strong.

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  29. Strangely In India we crave for winters especially out here in Mumbai, India where it is so hot and humid makes life miserable.. I understand cold makes you lazy and it is very easy to let go especially going fr walks but i say u must continue and stick to what ur doing... easier said than done bt i know u will do it.. have a wonderful week Launaa ♥

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  30. Life will still go on gather your strength and keep pushin in what you need to do!
    I believe in you!
    BLOG STYLECCENTRICFASHION / FB / IG / BLOG<3IN / G+ / TWITTER / LOOKBOOK

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  31. I actually love colder climates. I love snow and ice, even though they can create problems with traffic and whatnot and can definitely complicate simple everyday activities ;-)

    I'm sorry to hear you're struggling again. But you know what, good for you for acknowledging it! That is the first step to overcoming your struggles!

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  32. Dear Launna,
    I went running this morning and I thought of your great daily exercise (not mine in this period... :), but I was happy because I know that you have a strong will. I know also that sadness breaks in us, but going out and simply walking can help. I send you my biggest hug :)

    xoxo
    www.bellezzefelici.blogspot.com

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  33. So sorry to hear that you are struggling right now.:( I think that winter is a difficult season for most of us, people are depressed and they easily loose their motivation. There is no doubt this dreary weather influences our mood and our health. You are a very strong person and I'm sure you will stick to your goals.♥ Kisses!


    www.Lorietta.cz

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  34. Nice post Launna ! Have a nice day.

    www.theclassicv.com

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  35. darling, come to live in Italy :) where the weather can be especially wonderful in some areas!!! I wish you a wonderful evening dear.

    La Flò ♡ blog

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  36. Sempre arrasando na postagem amei, DEUS seja contigo
    Canal:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgeQXJjUpSQ
    Blog:http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br/

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  37. There are times when each and every one of us struggle ... we do our best to keep positive, but do not always succeed. It is important to look at the positives the small steps we have come and grow from them ...
    Winter can be a difficult season - but we look forward to Spring.

    I'm sending a big smile your way - and hoping it makes your day go peacefully and well.

    All the best Jan

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  38. I know Launna, winter is going to leave us more depressed, inactive and gloomy, but you don't stop your "good" efforts and still go for walk outside and have more fun time together with people and friends who brings a smile on your face. Keep your thoughts glued to spring/summer and start planning from now..like what will your new resolutions and challenges and - feel good!

    Have A Lovely Week Ahead!

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  39. Everybody is fighting their own battles. You just have to keep doing what's good for you, and look for the positive.

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  40. Dear Launna, it is completely okay to say out loud that you're struggling. Most of us, your readers, love the uplifting quotes and stories you share but we all know noone's life is perfect, and the fgact that you're going through a hard period makes us appreciate even more those motivational words you share with us.
    I understand how you must be feeling about the weather, you know I always say I like cold days, but that's only because our Winters are rather short here in Argentina (except for this one, quite strange...) In the South of my country there are the most Austral cities of the world and Winters last like forever! And many people living there feel like you weather-wise. Maybe you could set yourself a challenge where you have to find some winter-related activity that you enjoy, or simply reading a book in the coziest place of your home with a hot beverage as an intimate moment just for yourself. :)
    I hope you're feeling better now, my friend!

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  41. Hey girl... what's your private e-mail? Please drop me a line sometime at gingifreeman@gmail.com .... I'd love to chat with you one on one... you seem like someone I can really TALK to.. - www.domesticgeekgirl.com

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  42. I'm with you! I really don't like Winter. I want to go go somewhere warm. Everyone has their own struggles dear Launna so you are not alone.
    www.effortlesslady.com

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  43. Vida é assim amiga de autos e baixo, devemos respeitar
    a natureza por que é obra de DEUS, mais der uma volta
    por cima e siga em direção ao seu alvo.
    Canal:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgeQXJjUpSQ
    Blog: http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br/

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  44. oh, I so hear you. I'm not looking forward to winter either. and there won't be any ice or snow here. not for more than a day or two at least. here it's the lack of sunshine. last week I didn't see an inch of blue sky or a ray of sunshine at all. this week is a bit better but who knows how long this has to carry me... there has to be something redeeming about winter. tea and good books and candle light? not enough for me either ;) don't you have at least a bit more sun. I remember it from time spent in Western Canada in winter. cold and miserable but at least sunny for most of the time...

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  45. i feel the same way about winter. fall is my fave. my heads feels clearer, but winter is so drab. i'm over it after a month. the months from aug-jan FLY by but Jan-April just dragggg.

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  46. We did this thing where we cut sugar completely out of our diet (other than natural sugars). It was awesome. It was also hard. I noticed when we allowed that stuff back in, there was more depression and fighting. Surprise, surprise.

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  47. Ah, I understand Launna! I feel the same way about the winter. When I wake up it is night.. and when I go to sleep it is also night. I don't like it. But winter can also be very cosy. I think it is good to think of the beautiful things dear!

    xoxo
    www.its-dash.com

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  48. I am not excited for winter at all and I know you have it way worse than I do with that cold weather! I like it up until Christmas and then I just want it to be warm haha!
    www.amemoryofus.com

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  49. We are entering our summer months now. All the best Launna.

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  50. Beautiful post Launna. No one seems excited about winter.

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  51. I have been having a lot of breathing for a few years so I actually dread the warmer seasons since the humidity isn't all that great for me. I know what you mean about winter though. Winter is my favorite season though.
    http://BEAUTETUDE

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  52. You are welcome to visit me in Florida ANYTIME! ♥
    I know exactly what you're talking about my friend. If there's something I don't miss about living in Europe, it is being cold constantly and just dealing with snow etc. Maybe you could do at least a short getaway? Try to make it less panful with some cute decorations and good tea? Sending you good vibes, lovely lady.
    Sometimes I miss skiing and other winter actvities and then I'm like... nope, I think I'm fine in Florida. You should totally follow your heart. Hope your winter is going to be nice anyways. ♥♥♥

    SO happy to be back!
    Wishing you a lovely day,
    xoxo Suzy ( ˘ ³˘)♥

    THE KAWAII PLANET

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  53. I agree winter is awful! It really seems to change my mood and energy so much. I always try to focus on just staying warm through it and wait until spring!

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  54. One of the things I love about your writing is your honesty. Nobody's life is perfect, and there are always those bad times. I totally understand how you feel about winter. We don't get much ice/snow, but the rainy, gray days seem to drag on forever. I would love a year that has Spring, Summer and Fall only! Hope this week is going better for you :)!

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  55. Oh Launna, I can't imagine you in an off mood with all the positivity I see in your posts. But everyone has their days I guess.
    My skin condition exploded the other day all over my scalp and back... so I have been extremely grumpy and just feeling like I want to cry. But it's going to make us stronger in the long run right?? And I for one think that what life puts us through is what we make of it... and I intend to try and help other people through my problems! Just like you do. People read your amazing blog and suddenly they can relate.. they feel understood and positive and lighter! That's one of the reasons your blog is so damn wonderful x

    www.bohemianmuses.blogspot.com

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  56. I can relate to pretty much everything here, unfortunately I have been feeling a little flat lately too. I also hate winter and think it has a huge impact on how we feel. Such small pleasures in summer like going for late walks and feeling warm, make a difference. I didn't hate winter as much this year because I went a little crazy buying beautiful warm coats! You should come to Australia for the season each year while it's summer then we can hang out together- it'll solve your problem. Also I don't mind hearing about struggles and the negatives, if you want to talk or email ever.

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  57. Passando para ti deseja um belo dia DEUS seja contigo
    Canal:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgeQXJjUpSQ
    Blog:http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br/

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  58. I gave a party last weekend and have been indulging the some of the naughty "leftovers" the last few days! Shame! I finally tossed the rest and gave some away! I enjoyed it though but enough is enough! Back to my healthy diet!

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  59. You write so well !! Wonderful :)
    www.elegant365.com

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  60. Amazing post Launna!have @ great week!kiss ☺

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  61. so inspiring
    i like that even when you feel low you always tend to find strength in one way or another
    Great post dear

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  62. This was very inspiring :) Good luck! xx

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  63. Hello my dear Launna!! <3 Thank you so much for leaving such a positive comment on my blog. Like, even i couldnt be bothered by those other people who commented for the sake of it. This was one of the reasons actually why I lost interest after a while. I just realised that majority of the people would just comment for the sake of it. I mean, gosh..for all you know, a cure for cancer might be in the post. At least read it lol! :p

    And most importantly, tell me how are you doing Launna? Are you doing much much better now? You do know that you're being missed right? And I would so love to meet you if i could! :)

    http://anshul90.com

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  64. Another thought provoking and inspiring post. The first part makes me appreciate living in California where it's not as icy cold so winters are not as brutal. I totally agree about being more empathic if you've experienced same. Regarding fear, I'm so in agreement with Kirsten on that quote. All you have to fear is fear itself. Happy Friday Launna.
    http://fashionablyidu.blogspot.com/

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  65. Although winter is coming after fall, we will have good weather this weekend here, a sweater will be enough. How will it be where you live? You can move to Canarias in Spain if you are looking for the good weather but I think that is too far for you, maybe Mexico is nearer. I think that things will be better for you, they are not great right now but they should be better. xoxo

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  66. Thank you for the birthday wishes! I had a lovely day :)

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  67. Aquela máscara é boa. Gostei! ;D

    Também não gosto do inverno. Mas aqui no Brasil essa estação não é super intensa... Pra você ter uma ideia eu nunca vi neve na vida!

    Ótima sexta, Launna!

    Beijo! ^^

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  68. I hope we all take some inspiration from this because it's too easy to protect ourselves from all the negative and bad possibilities, but if we do that too much, we will never know.

    Raindrops of Sapphire

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  69. I'm sorry to hear you've been struggling. Hopefully, you're feeling better now.

    Maybe it would help if you tried writing down things you DO like about winter, or good winter memories from the past? Surely there's something you like about it. Like hot chocolate, or cuddling up under an afghan to read a good book. Thanksgiving... Christmas?

    Easy for me to say. I live in Georgia, where we usually only have a couple days' worth of wintry weather...

    Have a super weekend. (A boooo-tiful one!)

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  70. Darling, I wish you a great week end, I hope you're ok, a big hug dear, kiss :*

    La Flò ♡ blog

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  71. Just like you, I love fall but I absolutely hate the cold... even though our winters are definitely much milder than yours brrr. But there are so many good things about winter, like Christmas and fluffy snow :)

    Bella Pummarola

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  72. I felt identified in every quote xxx
    www.travelera.es

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  73. Hey Launna,

    Okay- so I TOTALLY agree with that first paragraph, and i too have had a super rough week. Hmmm... I also felt like it's one of those weeks where I don't really want uplifting advice... I just need someone to listen or someone who can actually relate. Like is tough. But mine is better than it could have been if I was born in a different country or to a different family. I am blessed, but I am human. As are you. :)

    Hang in there!

    xo,
    Christine
    www.beyoutifulhope.blogspot.com

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  74. I love the fall too but I do NOT like the time change---I feel like I'm always running late since it gets dark at 5:00. I dread it. As for being down----that's okay, This is usually the time of year when people feel the most depression. You are not alone. <>

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  75. Thank you so much for opening up to us. I love spring, summer, and fall, and I enjoy a little winter. But, I think winter goes on for way too long. I can totally understand why so many people have seasonal depression. I keep trying to remember that in less than two months we will have the darkest day of the year and then it will start to get lighter. Let's hope for a short winter. Good luck keeping up your exercise program. :)
    ~Jess

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  76. Wow. I so relate to this. And I too love the Fall but dread the winter b/c I can't get out as much, or hike like I do now. But taking it one day at a time....Hugs beautiful Lady....hope you have an amazing weekend.

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  77. Passando pra ti desejar para vc e familia um domingo maravilhoso
    Canal:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgeQXJjUpSQ
    Blog:http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br/

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  78. I don't like winter either. I try to accept it every year but is cost! Have a good day dear!
    kss
    new post: http://tupersonalshopperviajero.blogspot.com.es/2015/10/oils-of-life.html

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  79. always write very interesting post , it is a pleasure to visit you!!!Happy day!!!

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  80. Winter is hard time for me.. But think... it's mean spring is so close already ;)

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  81. Hi Launna!

    Love your post. Yes we all struggle with something or other. All the best!

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I love and appreciate all genuine comments, to save a little time, I won't be commenting on the comments on my blog (unless you don't have a blog), I will just visit your blog and comment there, if you have left a meaningful comment for me... I would much rather spend the time reading and commenting on a few extra blogs ❤