I sat down yesterday and poured my heart out in a blog post and before I published it, I reread it of course... then I deleted it from here... some things are too raw and real to post. No matter how much I want to write exactly what is in my thoughts and heart, I just can't... I started a pseudo blog so that I could say what I wanted, it's an open blog but I will not be promoting it in anyway. I could write it privately but I have a need to put it out there... maybe what I say can help someone else.
I am definitely in a better place than I was a couple of years ago when my heart was broken and all I could do was cry all the time... it took me a long time to get to where I am today but I readily admit that it's not easy all the time. I have moved forward but there are times I hear a song, read an old blog post of mine, come across a quote that reminds me of what I lost... inevitably I am left thinking how I got to that day that changed me so much. For the longest time I felt broken and I could not see how I would or could feel good again, let alone feel like it would all be worth it again.
I have been on those 'easy' paths, the ones where you don't have to feel... I have seen many people on that path too... there is something that comes along and derails them and the pain is crazy hard and it's easier covering the pain than dealing with it head on. Since I have been on both roads, I can tell you that although the difficult path is painful it is the only one that will or can bring about a clarity. I had to come to a point in my life that I had to admit that even though the pain was going to be heartbreaking to deal with, it had to be dealt with.
These past few months had me thinking about what I want to do in my life once the time comes that Valentina is grown... I want to experience life fully and show both of my girls that there is a beautiful world out there where we can make memories... It might not mean going far from home, it might mean just seeing places near by... but it means getting out of our comfort zone and facing our fears. Only then will our fears become our strengths...
Follow along!
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Achei aquele creme incrível! Tem um aroma delicioso! *.*
ReplyDeleteLaunna! O medo entra nas nossas vidas em diferentes momentos... Vai das mais simples até as mais complexas situações. E o caminho é assim: é não temer esse sentimento! Sei que é difícil achar a coragem pra enfrentar. Mas temos que fazer de tudo para não nos deixar presos por causa do medo!
Ótimo domingo!
Beijo! ^^
And it feels good to survive something like that, doesn't it? It feels good to find out one's own strength. And you are a strong woman, Launna!
ReplyDeleteYour quotes are always on point. What doesn't kill you really makes you stronger. I pray you get out of your comfort/fear zone and enjoy life to the fullest. Wishing you a productive week.
ReplyDeletewww.effortlesslady.com
Dear Launna,
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you . The force is so great when we face our fears . Whenever I am afraid I remember it.
Have a nice day
Kisses
Maggie D.
Fashion Blog Maggie Dallospedale fashion diary
I think it's really important that you realize you CAN get through difficult moments in life and that life does not stop when things get rough. Especially because it's such an important insight to pass on to your girl.
ReplyDeleteI can feel you, Launna!
ReplyDeleteRecently, I went through something similar when my mom was hospitalized. I also had other personal issues that were REALLY unbearable for anyone. I strongly believed I wouldn't make it. Even death seemed easier. To be very honest, I even used to get suicidal thoughts. I'd cry all day; I hated to see people. I hate to cry in front of people! I'd write about such things on my blog (on the personal series!) but they never go beyond the draft box. It took me a lot of time to recover. I completely am not out of it yet but I'm already feeling better. I'm diverting my mind by spending more time on my blog. I also write this personal diary (and a personal blog) where I pour my heart out. Writing heals me the best! Nothing has ever helped me like writing after I go through something tough. So, I understand you!
You're one strong woman; I'm going through your posts everyday (a silent reader) and I'm impressed already. Your posts are very healing in nature. I read them when I'm upset; and I instantly feel better. Keep writing!
I hope you get rid of all your worries very soon! Wait for a new beginning.
Stay healthy! Stay happy! <3
this is a very inspiring post Launna.. I remember my first heart break. it was painful and moving on was so hard. but by God's grace I made it through
ReplyDeleteSo inspiring! I love to read your posts Launna, great quotes!
ReplyDeleteI understand you my friend, but you are so strong... enjoy your life!!!
Kisses, Paola.
Expressyourself
My Facebook
Launna,
ReplyDeleteyou're so true in saying that; doesn't matter how hard we try..we keep going back to where we had lost something or had met our emptiness in life. But visiting those places often is also important to know that we have survived and have become better in our journey that all started from there! So we should visit our past memories quiet often (as we are human beings and it's impossible to avoid certain emotions), but we should never permanently reside there! As we might lose our focus and the self-love we have had built all these years.
Lovely read as always Dear.
Have A Lovely week.
Dear Launna,
ReplyDeleteyou show a lot of courage, I know it's not easy at all. I hope you can still walk a lot, since it can hekp your body and your soul. I'm trying to cope with my fears, life... death...
I thank you very much for your help... a big hug :)))
Launna, I agree and think once we get through some of those most difficult days, we realize we can do it and don't need to be afraid of the ones we will have to face in the future. Well written post!
ReplyDeleteBut what do we do when we aren't really afraid of anything any more, because we have already been through the worst and back again? And it still never stops? And we aren't afraid anymore, we are just too exhausted?
ReplyDeleteI'd love to check out your other blog, if you want to share.
xoxoxo as always
Hey Launna, so good to see you still writing away. :) Your words still strike me as being so beautifully open and honest. I get what you mean by some things being to raw to put out there. But there's a time and a place for everything really. You keep doing what you need to do.
ReplyDeleteHope you're having a wonderful day.
You're so super strong, Launna, I respect you so much and am in awe of you xoxo
ReplyDeleteYes, strong Post Launna! i love the Quotes, so much Inspiration!
ReplyDeletekisses :*
You have amazing inner strength and I know you will continue to rise above it all. HUGS!
ReplyDeleteI love that you are thinking of the future and things that you will want to do when your youngest is older. I think that is a great idea. Having things to look forward to helps when we are feeling down.
ReplyDeleteI really like the quotes you shared- especially the one about being planted. Excellent and inspiring. Thanks for sharing! Wishing you a week filled with many more ups than downs. :)
~Jess
I think the one thing that does pull us all through is time. Humans are blessed and cursed with the ability of being able to forget things or not hurt as much from them as time goes on and painful, upsetting, traumatic times end up going on to be memories instead. The painful and most difficult path is always the one that leads to a better outcome and though my journey has been entirely different to yours, Launna, it's still quite similar in us both choosing to take the difficult road rather than the one which doesn't require any effort. Too many times people mask the issue, I see it first hand all around me, and then they wonder why nothing is getting better or being fixed. Life is truly what you make it and what you do with it, there are no miracle fixes for anything, only journeys and progress you can make yourself. You should be very proud of yourself for coming this far and making it through. Lorna xx.
ReplyDeleteRaindrops of Sapphire
Wow that is deep Launna - getting out of our comfort zones and facing our fears. You're right you can get anywhere on the easy path and some people live their entire lives that way.
ReplyDeleteI understand the pseudo blog. I have another one on my site. There's only a few deep posts there. I must have shared it at least once because I have a comment from you on that side. Otherwise it's not visible on my site unless you know the link.
Simply the topic says a lot! 'Facing Fear becomes our Strength'. Nice to catch up after long time~
ReplyDeleteI'm constantly working on getting out of my comfort zone, and making the hard choices. So important to start thinking of the future, after your daughter is grown.
ReplyDeleteI really appreciate the honesty of your post Launna, and what you said is very true. Looking truthfully at our mistakes and facing our fears can demand a lot of us, which is why some people choose an easier path, without really learning from their experiences. Although it's not the same for everyone, I can relate to some of the things you said. I think it takes constant effort to evaluate our decisions and make genuine progress, but the results are so worth it.
ReplyDeleteThank you for addressing this issue with such eloquence, as you always do.
Saba xx
www.trulymadlydeeplyfashion.blogspot.com
Amiga Lau claro que o medo é muito ruim mais não se deixe
ReplyDeletese levar por esse sentimento tenha FÉ, FORÇA E FOCO.
Blog: http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br
Canal:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmO8csZDARM
For the past few years, I've also had to delete posts for being too raw. Writing them makes me feel better, though.
ReplyDeleteOh..I admire you, for writing such reflections to make us think. Here's to finding the map to keep the journey going forward. Keep writing! naturally.
ReplyDeleteHi my dear launna. I read your entry and always nod to my head, you right. As you said in life we will found problem thats need a solve. We will felt worry and afraid about it but it real and we must face up. It easy to run a way from the problem, but from the problem we can took value and learn to be better. As you said take a risk and try to gone out from the comfotable box and become more strong. I agree that we have power to solve all problem. :D
ReplyDeleteI loved tih post, dear Launna!
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy for you and for all the progresses you did in those years!!!
Your words are full of positivity and hope and I thinh the quotes you choose are my fav you published since now!
You're such an example for everyone, keep on going like this! :D
xxx
S
http://s-fashion-avenue.blogspot.it/
I'm glad you're doing so much better now. And I'm also very thankfull you're sharing all this with us. It might not seem as much, but to me it's very inspirational and so many times when I feel down it really helps me knowing, that others have been there before and made it forward.
ReplyDeleteWish you all the best and enjoy in little things, xx
Iloved reading thispost
ReplyDeleteIts nice to learn that you are now in better place dear,so happy for you.Your progress is amazing
very inspiring! i'm happy to know that you are better now! it's hard to get up sometimes!
ReplyDeleteloved you blog! i'm following you! :) please hop on my blog and if you like it, follow me too!!
xoxo!
the-not-so-girlygirl.blogspot.com
Okay now, this might sound stupid but I just had to stop reading in the middle of the post because I started to cry out of the blue. You know there's always a first time for everything, and this was definitely the first time a blogpost brought me to tears.
ReplyDeleteI also know what is like to hear a song or read a quote, or anything that triggers those past memories. I guess I'll tell you someday, privatly, about my story, and why I always say that I feel somehow related to your story. One of the reasons why it moved me so incredibly much is because I know how is it to feel in such a dark depression to the point when you don't even know if you'll have the strenght to get up from bed the next morning. Or even worst, you wonder if it's even worth it.
Then, the decisive moment when you have to choose if you want to continue in that downfall or get your sh*t together and do something about it. For what I can see, you definitely chose the second option, Launna and you should always feel proud of yourself for that. Thanks for sharing this, I meant it, it kind of confirms that I did the right thing, too... <3
Dear Launna,
ReplyDeleteI hope you are feeling well, planning little and big projects in your life, since they give an aim, a sense to our ehistence. I send my best good luck to you also for your daily exercise...
A big hug from Milan!
Unfortunately there's so much going on in the world that sometimes it blinds us to see the beautiful world out there. Great idea to show your girls that, Launna. Keep up the positive spirit. :)
ReplyDeletehttp://missymayification.blogspot.co.uk
Launna
ReplyDeleteI think no matter where we are in life we shall always be a work in progress.
Never shut our eyes, ears ... our senses to anything, life is about living and learning. Love may enter when we least expect it!
Hope your week is going well.
All the best Jan
Thank you Launna, for these amazing quotes. We will always be works in progress as there is so much to learn in and from life. We are constantly learning and growing.
ReplyDeleteblessings......
ReplyDeletehmmmmm, i know what you mean ...
getting through, getting over and implementing lessons learnt is not easy though well worth the effort it takes to be on the other side.
peace.
Rhapsody
https://rappingonamelody.blogspot.com
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“The highest education is that which does not merely give us information, but makes our life in harmony with all existence”-Rabindranath Tagore
Aww, you are so brave and wonderful to have become the strong woman you are now.
ReplyDeleteAnd your daughters are so lucky to have you as someone who roots for them to truly live!
♥
Amber
All the Cute 🎀
I really appreciate your raw honesty Launna. I truly believe fear is very powerful but I think our mind set can be more powerful. Fear stops many people from living their lives to fullest and I think a lot of people take the easier road and not face them including me in some situations. But once you do face them you are stronger.
ReplyDeleteBEAUTETUDE
Every time I stop by here, there's always something inspiration that's amazing for me relate to my messy life! Thank you so much :}
ReplyDeletexx,
Abby
www.houseofakih.com
Hi dear Launna! How are you? I hope that you are doing fine.. We all have difficult days, but we have to go trough these days. I think that you are a very strong person! Keep up the positive spirit :-)
ReplyDeletexoxo
www.its-dash.com
Hope you have an awesome day as well!!!!
ReplyDeleteLots of love,
Kisses, Paola.
Expressyourself
My Facebook
Hi my sweet Launna!
ReplyDeleteHope that you are having a great day
Kisses
Maggie D.
Fashion Blog Maggie Dallospedale fashion diary
so true launna. Just two days back i thought that then i said to myself, :it's darkest before the dawn.. and now i'm back :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for your lovely comment on my earlier post :)
Maybe you have time to see my new outfit post White Hearthood
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Love
Akanksha
It's probably not what you intended, but a few of your words struck me today. Thanks for that. We've always chosen the hard path, but in the last couple years things have become increasingly easy...until... Well, that's a story for another time. BUT any time life changes in major ways, you evaluate everything right? Definitely got some ideas in me brainpan about how things are going to continue changing.
ReplyDeleteHi Launna! I needed your inspirational words today! Thanks.
ReplyDeleteI feel the change in you, Launna...through the past couple of posts that you wrote, it feels more positive, the anger is almost gone and the determination is back. Good for you for wanting to show and inspire the best to your two girls. xx
ReplyDeleteShireen | Reflection of Sanity
Passando para ti deseja um belo dia
ReplyDeleteBlog: http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br/
Canal:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmO8csZDARM
It's amazing how strong a person can be when you have to get through things I also really think it's nice to have a private journal for nobody but yourself so you can freely express everything at times you need too.
ReplyDeleteSometimes it's hard to open up to the world but struggles, trails , and tribulations are one of the few things that holds us together. Although the internet is a scary place to post personal information it can also be comforting to meet someone who went through a similar experience that you would of never met otherwise.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this post because I'm also going through a difficult time and reading this helped me realize I'm not alone.
Sierra Berry | @itsberrystylish
As you rightly put sometimes some feelings are never to be made public in a blog post.. Bad times always teach u lessons.. we all have our days bt the real winner is that who holds on to being positive and facing the difficulties (easier said than done though)... I have been having a rough time lately bcoz of my dads health and personally I have many problems too which make me anxious bt somehow we all have to fight through our bad days to see the good ones .. I know you are a strong woman and have had many hardships and problems... I have been reading your blog since a long time and I always feel comforted and inspired in some way or the other.. I wish you achieve the goals u plan for and be happy and content in your life.. Have a lovely weekend Launna ♥
ReplyDeleteLaunna, recomendo muito aquele pré shampoo. Toda vez que uso o meu cabelo fica lindo! *_*
ReplyDeleteÓtima quinta!
Beijo! ^^
Happy Thursday Launna, I hope you have a great weekend planned!
ReplyDeleteRaindrops of Sapphire
Amiga tenha bom final de semana e FELIZ DIA DAS MÃES.
ReplyDeleteBlog: http://arrasandonobatomvermelho.blogspot.com.br/
Canal:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmO8csZDARM
Have a nice day sweet Launna.
ReplyDeleteKisses
Maggie D.
Fashion Blog Maggie Dallospedale fashion diary
You are so correct---we have to step out of our comfort zone and face our fears. I'm trying that as well...a little bit each day. Baby steps.
ReplyDeleteYour posts are alaways such a powerful source of inspiration!♥ I like the idea of starting a pseudo blog to express your inner feelings. Writing is definitely a great way to reflect on our lives. Wishing you a wonderful day!♥ Love!
ReplyDeletewww.Lorietta.cz
I like that quote, "remember the time you thought you could not survive....". Im so glad you not only survived but you are majorly thriving dear Launna. I can imagine that those little reminders here and there may be like little stabs in your beautiful heart. Know that the future holds brighter promises and someday, you'll smile when those reminders pop up. I feel you smiling already by the way, :)). Happy Friday to you. I've missed this space!
ReplyDeletehttp://fashionablyidu.blogspot.com/
This is such a well written and honest post! Hope you have a great weekend.
ReplyDeleteStyle For Mankind
Bloglovin
Launna... you so strong! That is true, when facing fears..that´s a powerful feeling.. that will become your power to go on.. it´s a path, hard one..but in the end..there´s a price: your life as you want it. Without all that dark clouds... you know, what I mean?? Have a amazing weekend dear xox
ReplyDeleteDeleting and reposting is a part of my life story too! While I like pouring my heart out, sometimes I feel emotions tends to get the better of me! You are a brave soul Launna and slowly after reading your posts, I feel baring my story through my posts makes me feel so much better as well!
ReplyDeleteLove,
Nilu Yuleena Thapa
BIG hair LOUD mouth
Sorry to know that your heart was broken. But love the fact that you have gotten over it, are a stronger person due to it and want to do something positive so that your girls learn something good :)
ReplyDeletehttp://everythingthatclicks.blogspot.com
Sometimes its those dark times that make you stronger.
ReplyDeleteYou are so brave, Launna. There are not many people like you. And you will success!
ReplyDeleteJasmine ♥♥♥
You are a warrior, even if I'm sure you didn't sign up for it. You are a wonderful inspiration to your girls too. I hope you have a wonderful Mother's day. All the best to your writing and enjoying all those little things in life too.
ReplyDeleteYes, I can do it again and will survive through all this happening to me. I believe the bad phase will get over and I will win as god is with good people and I believe in it!! Hope you are doing fine my friend :) <3
ReplyDeleteThis is sooooo good Launna...and love the quotes you used too. Hugs girl...and wishes for a beautiful day out there. Also, happy mother's day.
ReplyDeleteLaunna, I think it is very kind and unselfish of you to share your thoughts and experiences here because you never know who it may help, and I am certain it will help someone, perhaps more than one person so it's all good! You are such a lovely person and have so much to give. Thank you so much for sharing and Happy Mother's Day to you.
ReplyDeleteSo true Launna, for a long time I didn't venture out to see what was right around my city. I made it appoint about six years ago, right before I started blogging to see more of the world. Even if it meant just 30, 40, and hour away. That opened my world up to so many wonderful things that I was closed off to. I drove farther than I ever had, with friends too, I call them my advantures. I hopw that you start doing that yourself, and you don't have to go to far to do so. Researching things in your area is a great way to start, surrounding cities are awesome too. Much love!
ReplyDeletexx,
Tania
http://inspiremyfancy.blogspot.com/
Your posts are always so motivating and inspiring and the way you express your thoughts is really beautiful!! <3
ReplyDeleteHi Launna, the third quote is so true, in different words but it is the same I was telling to one of my best friends when her boyfriend left her, she could not see it but it was the best thing that it could happen to her, the only way for her to change her life to a better one that she has now :)
ReplyDeleteHave a lovely Sunday
xxx
www.travelera.es
I love the quote in gray...it's so hopeful and probably true in the end.
ReplyDeleteI love landing here to read your beautiful words which inspire me and make me think :)
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you've had to endure so much pain, sweetie, but endure it you have. And you're still standing tall. Good for you!
ReplyDeleteI hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day today. :) Take care.
A pseudo blog that is open for access to anyone? Sounds cathartic and like something I'd love to do in the future!
ReplyDeletePain, I've found, is a natural part of life. In the past I've run from it, drank through it, self destructed through it but I've grown alot and my faith in God has helped me.
The bible expressly states that, "...thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Christ....-2 Timothy 2:3". It's inevitable.
The mark of strength (spiritual, mental, emotional) is in being able to "live" through these challenges- in whatever form they come- and believing, in faith, that all will work out well eventually, so, I agree with you on facing down your fears.
Happy you are making plans for when Valentina moves out, I wish you innate joy and peace Launna. Stay blessed.
Xox